I’m going to say something that might shock you: there are lots of women on Twitter. What? That’s not shocking at all? Sorry. I was trying to come up with a big controversial way to open this up, but really there’s no need. I don’t think I need an enormous excuse to show you some funny tweets by the ladies of Twitter.
They’re gold. They’re hilarious.
Look at them.
Enjoy these laugh-out-loud bits and bobs from the twitterverse.
10. Demon squad goals
Technology has really enabled us to attack each other more efficiently.
If ur arguing with a girl an u think it's just between u n her then ur obviously unaware of the demon squad groupchat bc it's 16 against 1
— Liam Mcconnell (@Liam26x) April 12, 2017
9. The best a man can get
Good call. Don’t waste your time.
On the tinder date in the coffee shop I’m at the dude said, “I get where it was coming from but I think the Gillette ad went too far” and the woman said “I think this date is over” and walked out unceremoniously and now he’s sitting here alone with his patriarchy looking stunned
— Jo (@KellyJoBluen) January 19, 2019
8. Blow out
Well that’s not gonna be a night he forgets anytime soon.
a woman came into the salon today to get a blow out and her makeup done
the occasion? she's breaking up with her boyfriend tonight
— Mi (@mncrodriguez) July 26, 2017
7. Boom boom
a boy could ask ur bra size and u could be like “ak-47” and he would respond w “fuck ??? ur so hot ?”
— lil waste of space (@pupperonis) October 5, 2018
6. Endurance round
Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends.
Seeing how long you can get away with not washing your hair is an extreme sport
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) January 25, 2019
5. Quick turnaround
A story in two acts.
Me: So I met this guy
Me (two days later): nevermind
— Faridah (@Niyolaaa) March 1, 2020
4. Fight club
It’s gotta be absolutely exhausting to be that insecure.
My ex used to get mad at guys who hit on me and try to fight every single one of them, and then somehow blame me later. My current man will laugh with me and kiss me on the forehead when I get hit on and say: “what can I say, you’re beautiful”
Ladies, wait for THAT man.
— dani (@daniwolfeee) April 14, 2018
3. Livin’ it up
Wait why is there a guy in a chicken suit in the back? I’m not judging, I’m just curious.
Ex: so how have you been since the break up?
— • (@sacrificehoes) June 15, 2018
2. Casual sext
Honestly I’d get pretty excited if you just described the macaroni.
boys get really hot and bothered when sexting and im probably laughing during it and eating macaroni
— cutepicsofliluzi (@goawaymom) January 3, 2014
1. Old fashioned things
I mean that would certainly cut down on costs by quite a bit.
Call me boring but i want a simple wedding . No fancy hall, no expensive dress, no food , no guest , no husband •__• ?
— A y e s h a (@ayeshahere12) October 1, 2017
For more great tweets like that, go click on their names and follow ’em. It’s the least you can do for the wonderful service they’ve all just provided you with their lulz. You’re the real heroes, women on Twitter. Carry on.
Who are your favorite women to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.