What’s that I heart by my window? The sounds of birds happily whistling away in the sun? Well, it’s time for those birds to shut up because I’m tryin’ to enjoy the REAL kind of happy tweet. The kind of tweeting that God intended for us to revel in: random Twitter jokes from internet strangers.

Here are some right now!

10. You know the rules

I have been Rick Rolled into another dimension with this one.

9. Owl bet they do

We all know that birds aren’t real. Owls, doubly so.

8. Thrills and chills

Hey here’s a hot take: maybe we can just go without roller coasters for a while.

7. Meat your doom

Ikea remains as inscrutable and vaguely threatening as ever.

6. Surprise!

Plot twist: it’s an intervention about his addiction to surprise parties.

5. Shirley you can’t be serious

I see what you did there.

4. Let them eat cake

We live in a world of cruel illusions and crueler reality.

3. Coping mechanisms

I don’t need to be attacked like this, I pay my taxes.

2. Skin deep

She’s not gonna slither out of this one.

1. Cruis’n down the middle

I won’t say it…
I won’t say it..
I WON’T say it…


I’m so sorry. I tried and failed to restrain myself.

I attempted to read these tweets to the birds outside my window and they didn’t appreciate them. Further proof that they are clearly traitors. I’ll update you on this situation as it continues to unfold.

Who are the best people on twitter in your opinion?

Tell us in the comments.