Have you ever heard the term “constructed language” before? It refers to spoken and/or written languages that were actually designed by a person or a group of people, intentionally, from the ground up. Often it’s for world-building reasons in fiction, like J.R.R. Tolkien’s Elvish languages, or the somehow even nerdier Klingon language from the Star Trek franchise. Other times, a language is constructed in an attempt to just make a better way of speaking.

Cause see, the thing about normal languages, the ones most of us speak, is that they weren’t planned out at all; they evolved. They mixed and mashed with other languages and shifted and morphed over time from some primal beginnings, and by the 21st century we find ourselves with English, this absolute hodgepodge HOT MESS of a communication system as the most common form of speech on the planet. There are…so many issues with that. And the humans of Tumblr have definitely noticed.

9. Quite riot

I was today years old when I learned this.


8. Who-man

That’s one cramped coat.


7. Spell it out

English is so confusing that understanding it is a sport.


6. Gotta hand it to ya

Never thought the French would be so prudish.


5. On a roll

We are NEVER gonna give this up.


4. Stressing out

You will absolutely not be able to scroll past without trying it.


3. Bye, annual

This is why I just say “every other year.”


2. Plural problems

It’s like the entire language never accounted for there being more than one of a thing.


1. Pronunciation

This is a long one, but worth it if you’re the right kind of nerd.


Now that we’re all thoroughly confused about how communication works, maybe we should just take a break and do some quiet reflection. Some tough, thorough thought.

Wait. Oh no!

What’s the weirdest thing about English to you? Spell it out in the comments.