These tweets are real treats.

The kind of neat treat tweets there’s no need to tweak.

Tweakless tweet feats we treat as on fleek.

They’re this week’s sweet reads for geeks who seek the tongue in cheek.

Heh… sorry, don’t know what happened there. I think I got bit by a radioactive Soundcloud rapper or something. I’m better now.

What I meant to tell you, in normal person language, is that I hope you enjoy this collection of 10 great tweets both old and new. That’s this tweet sheet’s conceit. Dammit, I did it again.

10. Ambiguous language

Better watch out, I hear he’s been using cross fit.

9. All aboard the train

This is why I’m no longer allowed in most restaurants.

8. Hop in

Sorry, I kind of live in my car lol.

7. Message received

I read you loud and clear.

6. I’m sold

Hahaha that’s so dumb where can I get them.

5. See what sticks

Florida news stations are just writing stories with Mad Libs, I swear to heck.

4. Oh, baby

That kid is gonna grow up to be very dangerous.

3. Flop around

Ain’t no footwear like grocery bag footwear ’cause grocery bag footwear is quickly and lazily improvised.

2. Meat your maker

Oh cool a NEW reason to hate ticks, I was running low.

1. Window of opportunity

Comcast technicians be like…

There ya have it. Just a suite of tweet treats to sweeten up your feets. Ok, I should really stop with the rhyming now, I’ve thoroughly lost the thread.

Who should we be following on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.