I don’t even know what to say anymore when attempting to segue from the horrors of reality into a list of fun tweets, to be honest. But as with most things, true expression can be found, if not in words, than with memes. So, I made you this meme in lieu of an intro paragraph:
10. Original sin
“Bless me father, for I am about to spill this tea like the Boston Harbor.”
Me: I looked at my butthole in the mirror
Priest: once again kind of weird but not a sin pic.twitter.com/NOtDp9xADQ
— Heck Off Supreme (@heckoffmusic) November 10, 2019
9. Bird is the word
Sticks and stones may break my bones but birds are total jerks.
me: wow is that a mocking bird
mocking bird: "WoW iS tHaT a MoCkInG bIrD" fuck you
— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) July 15, 2018
8. No small artists
It’s really given him something to chew on.
Quarantine, day 14. Me and my boyfriend spent the whole day setting up an art gallery for our gerbil. https://t.co/XRtxVNdP56
— Reddit Top Post (@TopRedditPost) April 6, 2020
7. Act now
I’ll just forget to cancel and end up paying for something I never use. I know this scam.
30 day free trial of being ok
— t (@w_t__w) April 26, 2018
6. Absolutely trashed
Do you ever feel / like a plastic bag / drifting through the wind / wanting to start again…
I was blackout last night and posted a video to my story of me following an animal down the street yelling ”what are you? Ive never seen one like you?“ and then I woke up this morning, watched it and the animal was just a black trash bag blowing across the sidewalk I’m speechless
— Lukas Battle (@lukasbattle) December 1, 2019
5. Seal of approval
They’re so dang happy they gotta turn their whole body into a smile. 🙂
The only good thing in the world today is that I learned about "banana pose" which is just something seals do when they feel safe and content.
Just happy seal things. pic.twitter.com/oUShsUit69— Impossible Triangle (@argobagdr) July 23, 2019
4. Giddyup
Please don’t do this to medical professionals, it’s way too funny.
me: *kicking stirrups* go on now git
gynecologist: stop that
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) December 6, 2019
3. Visions of the future
Whomever this is, we need them to replace Nate Silver immediately.
this one aged like fine wine https://t.co/3jdfjNVitY
— Hana (@HanaYuribashi) June 17, 2020
2. Clowning around
I’m boo boo the fool.
Me trying to get over a crush that formed from a small interaction https://t.co/inlA7filCk
— Dan the man 🦕 (@Dannlythemanly9) November 18, 2019
1. Week link in the chain
True story: at my 2020 NYE party I had a long and passionate argument with friends about whether the week truly started on Sunday or Monday. If only I knew how little it would soon matter…
how everyday feels pic.twitter.com/elJephfeI5
— Z (@zahraloum) March 24, 2020
I hope those brightened your mood a bit. I’d offer you an actual egg but, yanno, this is the internet. And I don’t know where you live.
Who are the best people on Twitter to follow right now?
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