It’s easy for us jaded souls to feel pretty salty about relationships. Usually this would be the part of the intro where I’d pivot to some sort of “But look on the bright side, yada yada yada” thing, but in this case, no. I’m just sticking with the first sentence. We’re here. We’re salty. Get used to it.
None of us are in this alone, either, which I guess given the topic at hand is…ironic? There are plenty of people standing with you in salty solidarity (saltidarity), and they’ve got lots to say about it. Here are 10 tweets from people who are fed up with all the relationship drama.
10. Out on the line
You should tag them all.
All my exes got together for a party pic.twitter.com/Nj75FvQxgy
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) June 14, 2020
9. Tried and true
Can’t get your heart broken if you never meet anyone.
I don't use Tinder, I meet girls the old school way: never
— Alien Skier (@clichedout) June 12, 2019
Hey all you cool cats and kittens.
If we’re being honest tho
We’ve all dated a man that we would feed to a tiger ?
— SnowwBunnyy (@Sassy_Bitch419) March 31, 2020
7. Spare change
I’ve NEVER understood why this is a public feed.
One of the underrated joys of Venmo is judging couples by what they publicly nickel and dime each other for.
— Jordana Abraham (@JordanaAbraham) June 9, 2020
6. It’s not “ha ha” funny
I will sign this man’s petition.
The audacity of people who make you laugh and then don’t want to marry you after they made you fall in love with them is unreal
— wittyidiot (@stephenszczerba) May 21, 2020
5. Put it away
The responsible way to fall apart.
I don’t get drunk and text my exes, I get drunk and cry alone, with my phone safely put away. It’s called adulthood, sweetie, look it up.
— tasteslikesarcasm (@tasteslikesarc) December 3, 2018
4. Dog pile
I don’t like bad guys, I like good bois.
Who needs a bf when you can have a clingy dog that wants to cuddle with you 24/7
— shayna♡ (@shaynagirlxo) February 12, 2014
3. The search continues
It’s gotta be down there somewhere…
I’m giving up on men. Until further notice I’ll be putting my energy into things that matter. Like, finding the bottom of bottomless mimosas.
— Women Who Love Wine (@wwlwine) June 21, 2020
Run run run, as fast as you can.
My spirit animal is a bull, because I too charge headfirst into red flags ??
— Jennay (@dell0717) August 20, 2019
1. Not a single one
Hey, this is fair.
“yOu ArE tOo PrEtTy tO bE SiNgLe”
I’m also too picky to settle.
— Women Who Love Wine (@wwlwine) June 13, 2020
Hope those were funny enough to make you feel a little better about your own situation. We may be mad, but at least we’re mad together. There are dozens of us. Dozens!
How are you feeling about your love life lately?
Feel free to vent it out in the comments.