If you’re looking for some deep, insightful bits of writing that will help expand both your mind and your personal horizons; nuggets of wisdom and truth so devastatingly beautiful that they’ll leave you weeping tears of love for the essence of life…look elsewhere. Cause what we got here is some funny, random tweets. Wanna click away?
Didn’t think so. Everybody loves some good old Twitter nonsense. It’ll start your day better than a strong cup of coffee or a workout ever could! At least, that’s what I keep telling my doctor. Enjoy these 10 random tweets from the wide world of the internet!
10. Hoping for a soft landing
My bed gets blamed for a litany of things these days.
Reached the age where sleeping with the wrong pillow feels like I fell out of a 12th story window.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2020
9. Perry throwing shade
First of all, rude. Second of all, yes.
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind” was just a nicer way of asking if you felt like a piece of trash.
— 30andTired (@30andTired) May 29, 2020
8. Keeping up appearances
This is some 4-dimensional chess right here.
spraypainting "CHEATER" on my car to make it look like I'm romantically active
— Jake Walbert (@OffTheWalbert) April 23, 2016
7. You must really clean up
Do you live in a bank or something?
I find lil debbie wrappers and empty cigar pouches… smh
— Chris Hightower (@FunnyCHigh) July 27, 2017
6. Meep meep, beep beep
I want the story these pictures imply to be true. I want that so badly.
Who painted this shit? ? pic.twitter.com/tBuqtnRI52
— Racks (@NewYork_Minutee) March 7, 2016
5. Chef’s choice
How about you stop telling me how to live my life?
— Alex Halpern (@HalpernAlex) May 18, 2020
4. The whole package
You are welcome for how incredibly dysfunctional I am.
Emotional baggage? You mean the tough life experiences that made the sexy hilariously twisted bad ass bitch I am today?
— wittyidiot (@stephenszczerba) May 24, 2020
3. Two heads are better than one
…except maybe in this case.
Not the first two-face snake I’ve came across https://t.co/ybobzp73TR
— Dak (Retired) (@RidiculousDak) April 3, 2019
2. The long game
Try me, bro.
when someone cuts you off but it’s alright because now you’re following them home: pic.twitter.com/dOyA4Puklq
— ? (@orange_uv_rays) July 2, 2019
1. Tech support
And for my next miracle, I will close all these extra tabs.
my mom telling people I can fix phones after I only set up her email pic.twitter.com/OEKE2Hq0Vo
— STAY SAFE AND PRAY MORE. (@PhineasBanda_) April 22, 2020
We hope those random tweets have left you feeling refreshed and ready to take on all comers. Tweets are the most important meal of the day!
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.