Yes, pettily is a real word. And I’m glad I was finally able to use it in a sentence.
Because when people are petty, it’s entertaining for us all.
Buzzfeed asked their community to tell them about all those petty things they’ve done, and these folks delivered BIG time.
1. Ass if…
“After years of treating me terribly, my so-called ‘best friend’ was riding my ass about a cheap dress I’d borrowed from her that I hadn’t returned yet, and I just snapped and ended our friendship.
But not before wiping my ass with the dress, putting it in a plastic bag, and giving it to her dad to return to her. To this day, I wonder if she ever caught pink eye from that.
I would never do anything like that again…but f*ck that bitch, seriously.”
2. Trust officially broken…
“My ex cheated on me, then had the nerve to say that he didn’t trust me.
So I waited until he was at work then took his phone, dumped all his cologne onto his bed, kicked his air conditioner out of the window, and gave his dog away.
He didn’t have a reason not to trust me so I gave him one.”
3. Petty sex
“A college friend was having a small party and invited a guy that she thought was really cute.
Well, that cute guy took a liking to me and kept hanging around me that night, even though I wasn’t really into him. But my friend was still upset that he was paying me so much attention, so she SPRAYED HER CIDER ALL OVER ME with a simple ‘oops.’
After the party ended, the cute guy asked me to crash on the couch with him, but my friend insisted that I sleep in her room instead or else she would totally cut ties with me. I turned her down nicely, and she slammed the door in my face.
So I had s^x with the guy on her couch.
I regret nothing.”
4. Mother of the year
“My ex was in prison at the time, and he pissed me off right before Father’s Day. So I bought a card for my daughter to send him that said, ‘I may not be a perfect child, but look on the bright side…at least I’m not mailing this from prison.
Happy Father’s Day!”
5. Screams of displeasure
“My roommate and her boyfriend were having really loud s^x against the wall between our bedrooms when they knew I was trying to take a nap.
So I put my speaker right next to the wall and blasted a series of shrill, screaming reaction videos from the internet.
It very effectively killed the mood.”
6. The log of lies
“When I was younger, I would keep a log of all the times my sister lied to my parents.
Then one day, she really pissed me off, so I gave the compilation of years of lies to my mom.
My sister got in so much trouble that my mom still brings it up.”
7. Fun with photoshop…
“I went on a beach trip with my friends and a girl that I don’t like was invited.
So before posting all our pics to social media, I edited the photos to correct blemishes and thin out everyone’s faces,
except hers…which I widened.”
8. Cancel the marriage. It’s done!
“My (now ex) husband would always wake me up to yell at me for leaving a cabinet door open, so one day I waited until he was asleep in his recliner then I went in the kitchen and OPENED EVERY CABINET, all of the drawers, the oven, the dishwasher, and the microwave.
Then, knowing he’d have to cross the kitchen to get to our bedroom, I crawled back in bed and waited.
As soon as I heard him swearing I felt so much glee. That’s when I realized our marriage was over.”
9. Like petty mother, like petty daughter
“My dad pissed me and my mom off one day, so we teamed up and ate his Jimmy John’s tuna sandwich and replaced it with a regular white bread sandwich filled with dry canned tuna.
And hey — my mom wanted to put wet dog food in there instead!
Clearly, the petty apple does not fall far from the petty tree.”
10. When pettiness pays off!
“There was a girl who bullied me in high school and made my life hell.
Well, when I found out that she didn’t get accepted to her dream school, I applied out of spite to see if I could get in.
Not only did I get in with a scholarship, I ended up attending and even made the Dean’s List.”
11. When you don’t makeup
“After a fight with my sister, I secretly dumped her makeup setting spray and filled the bottle with water.
For months, I watched with evil satisfaction as she sprayed water on her face and wondered why it didn’t work.”
12. Paging the adult daycare center… we have a petty child for you!
“My mom remarried a few years after my dad died, and I really hate her husband.
So whenever I visit them, I take one of his belongings and I hide it.
Yep — I’m 37 years old and petty AF!”
Ohhhh, these were so very petty.