So, it’s been a rough few years. Things have been chaotic AF and isn’t it time we all just settle down for a bit, read some tweets and lol a little bit? Is that too much to ask?
No, it’s not too much to ask. And so we call on the mediocre lord above to make us laugh.
1. God… slow down. K?
[God creating spiders]
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"— matt (@dogfather) June 18, 2016
2. Sting!
[god creating jellyfish]
how bout an evil bag
— đť”đť” (@athleisure_monk) December 26, 2015
3. Let it rain!
https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/1055090328280141824
4. Pure fire that day…
GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made
ANGELS: [confused applause]
— Cancel and Gretel (@woodmuffin) January 27, 2019
5. But why?!
https://twitter.com/bourgeoisalien/status/717397737726054400
6. You did it to yourself…
God: you’re gonna be beautiful your whole life.
Butterfly: yeah I better be.
God: [to Angel] I don’t like his attitude make him an ugly hairy worm for half his life.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) December 21, 2018
7. You god d*mn monster…
https://twitter.com/pentyfuma/status/607731122185900032
8. Numbers!
GOD: 8
ANGEL: 9!
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
GOD: 15!!
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
GOD: 30!!
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
ANGEL: LMAO— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018
9. Out of control…
https://twitter.com/daemonic3/status/644388210848591872
10. It worked!
[God creating mosquitoes]
"I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) January 3, 2016
11. Hiyah!
[God creating praying mantis]
Make an insect that does karate
Angel: k
Now make it bite her husband's head off
Angel: dude we need to talk— Bownuggets (@Bownuggets) January 11, 2016
12. Lord of the flies…
[inventing flies]
GOD: make them eat shit
ANGEL: got it
GOD: make their babies the grossest things in the world
ANGEL: ok who hurt you?
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) August 26, 2016
Amen.