I have a cousin named Matt. I love him, but…you know. Some or all of this might be true.
If you’ve crossed paths with a Matt, either platonically, in your family, or in your dating life, well, you might find something to relate to here.
Just sayin.
13. I guess variety is not the spice of life after all.
Dating apps be like:
Matt, 30, financial analyst, enjoys craft beer and hiking
Matt, 33, holding a dead fish: “let’s eat pizza and watch the office”
Matt, 28: “if you don’t work out we won’t work out” “go birds” 6’1” because apparently that matters”
— jb (@jessbee_) December 26, 2019
12. The rules are very complicated.
https://twitter.com/danadonly/status/1209720632344076288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fsydrobinson1%2Fguys-named-matt-tweets
11. Think how many Matt, Jrs. that would be.
I have slept with enough guys named Matt to populate a small town in Ohio
— Amy Cardinale (@thingsamytweets) September 20, 2018
10. Are there bonuses involved for getting it right?
the hardest part about working in tech is telling the difference between all the white guys named matt
— kiersten (@kierstennamber) July 30, 2019
9. The narrator in fact tired of saying these words.
https://twitter.com/danadonly/status/1198660626257604608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fsydrobinson1%2Fguys-named-matt-tweets
8. Please contact the creator of the universe to see if you qualify.
have you or a family member ever dated a guy named matt. you maybe entitled to compensation
— srirwacha (@sarahnicoleryer) October 15, 2019
7. It’s just facts.
https://twitter.com/sargoldsteiin/status/443858035040354304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fsydrobinson1%2Fguys-named-matt-tweets
6. We can handle it.
Frat boys will find out you like Kpop and be like "WTF dude 12 guys in one group lol how do you tell apart they look the same" even though they had 4 white guys named Matt in their pledge class of 15.
— amateur podiatrist (@stephengriswold) December 20, 2018
5. They’re making it smell a little bit Matt-y.
There's too many guys named "Matt" at this Whole Foods.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) March 6, 2018
4. Every last one.
boys that will definitely ruin your life:
1. any boy named kyle
2. all matts
3. chads (or anything with -ad)
4. any variation of zachary
5. any guy whose name starts with j— liz (@unrealizzztic) October 8, 2019
3. They have come of age.
My decade in dating:
2010: serial killer
2011: human dial tone
2012: dial tone
2013: best friend
2014: best friend
2015: slut
2016: slut
2017: slut
2018: guy who compared me to a mailbox
2019: 15 guys named Matt— linda (@lwatts_93) December 28, 2019
2. What band? It doesn’t matter.
what up we’re 5 White Dudes in a Band, this is our drummer Mustache SticknPoke, our bassist NailPolish Earring, lead singer Denim Glasses, and 2 guys named Matt. Altogether we have 3 famous dads, 6 DUIs, and 4 pics of us on a couch outside.Our EP ‘My ex is crazy’ out on bandcamp
— gluten free baguette (@DerivativeSin) April 23, 2019
1. It’s a calling and a curse.
https://twitter.com/danadonly/status/1187247815585484800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzzfeed.com%2Fsydrobinson1%2Fguys-named-matt-tweets
This list just cracks me up – all those poor white boys named Matt just trying to go about their business and getting called out on Twitter!
Have you met a Matt? Does he fit these tweets or defy the odds?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments!