If you’re looking for some fresh, funny tweets, you clicked on the right link. Well done. You have excellent investigation skills. Let’s get down to it.
Here are fourteen funny tweets to satisfy your clicky-curiosity!
14. Oh, brother
I need clarifications on the ages of all the people in this story.
I went in my brothers room just now to talk to him, and I layed in his bed and poked him. And some random girl turned around and said “Your brother went to get us food”. WTF. ???
— Kat? (@Katya_hdz98) August 22, 2020
13. Research bowl earth
Surf’s up, soup’s up.
we live on the bowl that holds soup
— grovy mango (@grovymango) August 22, 2020
12. The gig economy
Learn how to monetize your baby TODAY!
if we all have kids by next year we can get more streams so start getting pregnant
— nat⁷ (@jngkks) August 22, 2020
11. Hard hitting reporting
I’d very much like to know what went wrong in the career of this person I’ve never heard of and don’t care about.
kicking the weekend off right!!
(laying in bed watching a 20 min video about a vegan youtuber’s fall from grace)
— ????? ?????? (@calebsaysthings) August 22, 2020
10. Judge not
I got into this job mostly for the little hammer.
“Omg you’re free” – me as a judge
— emma (@slutfortrailmix) August 21, 2020
9. The smolest boi
Are you just literally talking about those invisible dog leash gag gifts from the 70’s?
i want a dog that’s so small i can’t even see it and it doesn’t poop or peep does that make sense
— SARAH SQUIRM (@SarahSquirm) August 22, 2020
8. Living large
Just because I have nothing doesn’t mean I don’t have standards.
Me on Zillow with $14.27 in my bank account: “Only one bathroom??? No thank you, next.”
— senia ? (@drawntosenia) August 20, 2020
7. Roar right past
Weren’t we supposed to have the fun sinful part before paying for it?
i think it's fucked up that for the 2020s we didnt even get the roarin part like in the past we just went straight to the depression
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) August 21, 2020
6. The hard truth
They didn’t start that way, we just haven’t replaced them in 10 years.
How do men find pillows that flat? I have never seen flat lifeless pillows being sold and yet men always own them
— I’m a riot! (@glamdemon2004) August 21, 2020
5. Swear to God
If she was an Evangelical it was the greatest moment of her life, I promise.
remembering the time i dropped an unsafe amount of acid and then texted one of the hottest girls i knew “can god fix me?”
— socialite (@w3ll_adjusted) August 22, 2020
4. Lunch goes on
I’m schooling at home and the food still all tastes like cardboard, somehow.
*All classes are online now*
Lunch ladies: pic.twitter.com/H29skhdRwL
— Jeffery Perkins (@JefferyxBball) August 20, 2020
3. No chill
What do you have to do to get a little service around here?
waiter: is everything ok
boomer: my ice is too cold
— tom (@pilau) August 21, 2020
2. Ya big baby
How the human race even made it this far is beyond me.
babies be like help me or I will literally die
— Josh (@FLITTER) August 21, 2020
1. Artificial intelligence train-ing
Which of these squares DOES contain a stoplight? I thought I knew, but now…
you think you know what a train looks like until you gotta prove you're not a robot
— jeb (@LlamaInaTux) August 22, 2020
Hope you enjoyed those, and we wish you the best in your future funny-tweet-finding endeavors. Good luck out there.
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