Paying attention to red flags is not only limited to romantic relationships.
You need to look for them in your regular friendships as well. Trust me on this one, a terrible friend can make your life just as miserable as someone you’re sleeping with.
So remember to keep your eyes open with your friends as well because a bad friend can be a major bummer and they can be really hard to get rid of.
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
1. Don’t bring the bad vibes.
““Good vibes only” friends. That mentality is fine to have with yourself. But you can’t force that on others.
My best friend adopted this attitude and from then on, whenever I would come to her for support or advice on an issue I was having, she’d cut me off and say, “Ah ah ah! Good vibes only, remember?” Because I was bringing her down.
I put up with it for a long time because I thought she was right, that I was burdening her. But then I finally realized that that’s not how real friends act. They’re supposed to support and help each other.”
2. I’m over here!
“Having their damn phone in their face the whole time. If they do that, they don’t want a friend, they want company. It’s not the same.”
3. This drives me insane.
“Friends who constantly call you for advice but, never take it and continue to involve you in their drama.
If you’re not going to make moves to improve your situation stop asking me for help.”
4. Pay attention to these.
“When they pressure you to do things for them (or a certain way) and act like you were on board the whole time. (coercion)
They say they are “holding you accountable” to something you never wanted in the first place. (gaslighting)
They take the “high road” when you get angry because they won’t respect your boundaries. (play the victim).”
“They never say anything supportive of you. But they will point of your flaws, and can’t wait to burn you, because its funny, to them.
And then the follow up of “you’re too sensitive” “It’s just joking”.”
6. This is frustrating.
“Friends that are a one way street. I was always the one to message, call, or make plans with them. I was always the one to check up on them to see if they were okay. I always offered a helping hand and be there for them.
I decided to stop to see if they would reach out to me, but we never spoke to me again. Oh, well.”
7. “Emotional vampires.”
“Friends that aren’t happy for your success and happiness, but are very close when you’re sad.”
8. Look out for this one.
“This is subtle and a bit counterintuitive but beware of the rescuer-martyr. The person that’s always rushing out to help and give everyone else their all whether or not it’s needed or whether the recipient is comfortable with it. They are good people, very well intentioned and saintly in their generosity with their time and energy.
However, sometimes it goes to the extreme and then it’s more a symptom of a toxic cycle where they only get meaning and self-worth when they are saving someone; or maybe they keep swooping into other people’s lives to fix things in hopes that someone will do the same for them.
They may have good intentions but they tend not to have good boundaries; they get overinvolved in your life; take on way too much and make everyone’s problems their own. They end up overwhelmed, mired in drama, and resentful. And then they become the martyr.
The problem with being friends with this type of person is that you’re not in an equal friendship where you like each other, enjoy spending time with each other; and when there happen to be downs, you support each other through them.
It’s more like you’re a project, everyone’s a project; and once you stop being a project you’re now support – not just for them and their own problems, but part of the fire brigade for their other projects (which they’ve internalized as their own problems and drama).”
9. That gets pretty old.
“If you have had a friend for a long time, but you only seem to be able to talk about memories in the past.
Each time you get together or exchange messages, it’s “Remember in high school….” or “Remember that time when….”
Could be a sign that you both have grown apart and do not have much in common today that you can connect on.”
10. All about them.
“Friends who are always happy to talk about themselves but never once ask you how you’re doing or anything engaging you to talk about yourself.”
11. Best friends!
“Personally I’ve always had bad experiences with people who say everyone is their “best friend.”
When my best friend in high school started calling 10 different people including me her best friend, that was when I knew I was just an accessory, and she was trying to surround herself with people to love her.”
12. This happens ALL THE TIME.
“When they ditch you the moment they start dating someone.”
13. Bullying is bad.
“They try to correct your personal preferences for you. Bully you out of liking certain clothing/music/foods/art, etc. They’ll often frame it as if they’re doing you a favor.
It’s a sign of emotional immaturity when people treat others like play objects rather than human beings.”
14. Don’t be a flake.
Nobody is that busy for a 2 second text to cancel plans or to not even agree to them at all.”
Beware of these kinds of people!
It’ll probably help you out a lot in the long run.
What are the red flags you look for in your friendships?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments!