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Most of us have worked in some kind of office at one time or another and guys, it’s no joke. There are stupid meetings, rules about space heaters even though they keep the air conditioner on all winter, and bosses who get promoted even though you have no idea why.
Which is all to say, if that’s your current situation, you probably need a laugh.
14. What would we do without exclamation points?
Every work email I send:
Sorry to bug you!
Was just wondering
(If it’s not too much trouble)
Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do?
Totally fine if not!
Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot 🙂
Sorry to bother you!
Sorry I exist!
Just let me know!
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 19, 2018
13. It’s easier to say something kind of nice in writing.
My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
— pumpkin malfunction (@online_shawn) July 27, 2013
12. You have to find little ways to entertain yourself.
I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond "not long enough" in regards to how his weekend was. We're at 7.
— Mel Owens (@melowens) November 9, 2015
11. Always look annoyed, like George Costanza says.
90% of my job is squinting at my monitor when somebody walks by so it looks like I'm concentrating on some work.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 28, 2016
10. Now that’s the kind of program I can get behind.
Is there a way I can filter out all work emails except the ones telling me there are donuts or cake in the office?
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) February 3, 2016
9. Everyone is trying to be “good.” JUST EAT A DONUT.
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
— worlds oldest clairo stan (@hellakyra) January 17, 2019
8. It’s a sad state of affairs.
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk pic.twitter.com/z8V3kVzuO2
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 3, 2016
7. You’re not the boss of me outside of that cubicle, sir.
[in the carpark after work]
Supervisor: bye, David. Have a good weekend
Me [giving him the finger]: you're not in charge now
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) April 2, 2016
6. No one is exempt from the dreaded Reply All.
work problems pic.twitter.com/i98CWDV1zw
— Swear Trek (@swear_trek) January 9, 2018
5. Passing the time is a powerful lure.
me: i don't have time for workplace drama, i'm here for a paycheck
also me, when my coworker says she's annoyed w someone we work with: pic.twitter.com/ciQ6oikRtJ
— david s pumpkins (@hvnnydevito) May 26, 2017
4. It requires a lot of practice.
How to be a grown up at work:
Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015
3. That smile, though. OMG.
Co-workers with kids: Omg guess what? My kid did the funniest thing yesterday!
Me: Oh…..really, What did it do? pic.twitter.com/9JJgY4qoX3
— 𝓛𝓮𝓮𝓻𝓸𝔂. (@IamKickz) June 28, 2017
2. What was I saying? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Me: I’m not doing shit my boss can kiss my ass
*boss walks in*
— TZA (@Twonesterr) November 17, 2017
1. Said no one ever.
I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks.
*looks up and sees motivational poster on wall*
Well this changes everything
— Dr. Pumpkin Spiceotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 10, 2015
And a bonus:
lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 13, 2017
I love it! Not enough to go back to working in an office, but you know.
What are your favorite office jokes? Share with us below!