15 Absolutely Wild First Date Stories

First dates: gotta love ’em. Unless they’re terrible. But in that case, at least we can take comfort in the fact that we won’t have to deal with a second one.

It’s a nerve-wracking experience. You try to get yourself looking good, choose something fun to do, use what you know about the person so far to cater to their interests, etc etc etc. Externally you’re all smiles and giggles and inside you’re sweating profusely hoping things work out well.  And the end results? Well, they can be all over the place.

To illustrate that point look no further than these 15 true stories about wild first date experiences. Some of them are almost too bizarre to be believed.

15. We all like things

Reminds me of the Eddie Izzard bit; “I’ve got legs! Do you like bread?”

14. Putting the mooooves on him

I mean, I’d be intrigued.

13. Whoa there

Maaaaaybe this was his LAST date.

12. Keep it up

Might as well hand her a business card that just says “controlling dick.”

11. Bouncy conversationalist

This is true, by the way.

10. Show-off

Well that’s presumptive in a LOT of ways.

9. Counter-intuitive

The use of the word “ex” here is quite telling.

8. Indecent proposal

When you know, you just know.

7. Snooze fest

Glad you’re already bored with me.

6. Oh, baby

Planning for the future is nice, but maybe slow down a bit.

5. Estimation error

Is this guy a robot?

4. Trigger happy

I don’t think he’ll be “going south” for a long time.

3. Bad move

Maybe he meant your food?

2. Famous last words

The remainder of this sentence is never good.

1. Stripped down

On the bright side, they can only get better from here.

First dates can be the worst dates. But, if there weren’t at least a few good ones, we wouldn’t have couples! So, keep the hope alive. Get out there. Gather some stories.

What’s your crazy first date story?

Tell us in the comments.