I’ll let you in on a little secret: nobody knows what’s going on in this life.
Absolutely nobody knows what they’re doing and we’re all guessing all the time.
So before you dismiss someone’s idea as stupid, stop for a moment and consider that every idea in the history of stuff was once considered such, right up until we realized it was actually working.
Here are a few new ideas, via Twitter, that you might want to consider implementing in your own life.
Because if it’s stupid and it works, then how stupid can it be?
15. Special delivery
You really can’t beat the speed.
My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching tv and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it…
and its a text from my wife:
Please bring the chips on your way back
— Doc (@DocAtCDI) January 11, 2021
14. It’s a match!
This would be the only way to pull it off.
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on tinder so I can match with my roomate and tell him Im coming over so he’ll clean the apartment
— Austin Locke (@austinlockedup) September 29, 2019
13. Raised by wolves
Prove to me that this wouldn’t work.
Deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area. All problems should be solved that way. Too much pollution? Release wolves in factories. Dislike Congress? Wolves. Wanna lose weight? That's right, wolves.
— brandAn is good (@LeBearGirdle) November 13, 2017
12. The gifts that keep on giving
Honestly this sounds like it would be worth a shot.
tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a 50/50 chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are
— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 16, 2018
11. Keeping it together
I cannot imagine being this motivated to have a cow rug, but go off.
Last week I duct taped two rugs together bc I don’t have $500 for a custom pink cow rug pic.twitter.com/5iziESzwNC
— coffee h8tr (@cindaysaur) March 10, 2021
10. Now you’re speaking my language
It’s a neat trick to avoid revealing your true stupidity.
If you can't think of a word say "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 7, 2017
9. Good vibes only
Keep that anguish where it belongs.
Pro-tip: Never be sad on a holiday/weekend. Cry on a workday. Get paid for your depression.
Don't let capitalism win.#ThursdayThoughts— Muhammad Ali Kamran 🇵🇰 #BOT (@alikamran97) February 6, 2020
8. Slight modifications
Technically true.
@lizmiele I signed up for a zoom workout class that was too advanced so when the instructor said “do a plank and bring your knee to the opposite elbow,” I did a modified version where I turned off my computer and made pancakes
— Amy (@Anotheroneor2) April 21, 2020
7. The bite that bites back
Baby shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo.
If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You’ll still probably die but the shark will be like “lol what”
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 30, 2020
6. How the tables have turned
This guy is living in the year 3000.
new tinder idea: upload all my photos upside down so girls turn their phone to look at them, obviously realise am ugly and swipe left but of course that's now actually right bing bang boom match
— ethan (@human_dis4ster) July 21, 2018
5. Weed ’em out
You’ll trim the list down real quick.
I just saved a TON of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on social media.
— Sherrie Black (@TupeloHoney1965) July 15, 2016
4. Do you even lift?
Gotta use your head. And arms, I guess.
GYM TIP: Work out smart, not hard!
A lot of people at the gym go and lift the big weights. But actually, the small weights are lighter and much easier to lift.
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) January 7, 2019
3. The project master
It’s all a balancing act.
always work on two projects at once. that way you can procrastinate on project A by messing around on project B, and when you get tired of project B you can waste time by working on project A. you will be twice as productive while doing nothing but procrastinate
— george watsky (@gwatsky) June 13, 2019
2. Fly away
Be sure to maintain eye contact in order to engender trust.
Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public.
Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him.
— Bryan With a Why (@doublewenis) August 11, 2016
1. She bangs, she bangs
The perfect plan.
I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 14, 2021
I think all those ideas are gonna work out juuuust fine.
What’s been your best idea recently?
Brainstorm with us in the comments.