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Ladies, I have news for you. Men are…pretty clueless.
I didn’t want to say stupid because I’m trying to be nice to my fellow guys.
But it’s the truth and there’s no denying it. Especially when it comes to ladies flirting with us. COMPLETELY CLUELESS.
Ladies of AskReddit shared their stories of when they flirted and men were, well, being clueless men.
1. Just a quick trip
“I drove 5 1/2 hrs to hang out, no big deal hahaha.”
2. Looks good!
“A girl I worked with invited me back to her place to sample a cake she had made. We get to her place, and she explains that she just needs to frost it before we eat. Proceeds to ice the cake, periodically dipping her finger in the bowl, and getting me to taste it. After a few rounds of this, she then dips her finger in the bowl, and proceeds to porn star suck a gigantic amount of icing off it.
Me: “yeah, looks good!”
We ate cake, and I left. 19 year old me was fucking stupid.”
3. That’s one way to clear the air
“My wife has had to resort to ‘get up here and f*ck me, already!’ We met 22 years ago because she walked up to me and demanded my phone number. I’d be alone in a ditch without her.”
4. Just being friendly
“When I was about 16 I was at a friends birthday party, she had friends from out of town visiting. One of the girls was cute and we talked for pretty much the entire night. She gave naive 16-yr old me every sign that she was into me, I thought she was just friendly.
At one point we are sitting in the back of the room watching a movie with everyone and she started showing me how her Velcro fly on her pants was so easy to open, she opened and closed it in front of me multiple times. “I mean velcro is cool but it’s not that different from a regular fly”
She showed me how to get into her pants and I thought she was a Velcro nerd.”
5. That was a date, pal
“The first date with the guy I’m dating now started with him not knowing we were on a date. I started it by asking him “hey let’s go out and explore a little bit” he said yes, and I was flirting with him while we were out said “hey let’s go back to my place” he said yes, but nothing happened after that.
About a month later he made the connection that that was a date.”
6. Oh, that’s what she wanted!
“I met a girl at a bar in my first week of uni. We talked for a while and went our separate ways. I met her when leaving the bar and she invited me to a house party at her house. I had planned to share a taxi with some friends so it was hard to convince me. There were about 30 people there so I agreed to go. As we got closer to her house people started dropping off in different directions.
Eventually it was just her, her housemate and I. I told her it looks like this is going to be a shit party if it’s just the three of us and I’d leave to meet up with my friends getting the taxi. She tried to convince me telling me that it would be easier for me to sleep in her bed with her and just walk to uni instead of commuting hungover the next morning. As I was leaving she gave me her address and phone number in case I changed my mind. As soon as my head hit the pillow in my own bed I realized what she wanted.”
“I’m no lady but i look back at some spots that i was ridiculously clueless. I was a virgin up till the end of college. One of these clueless examples i am moving into a dorm and my friend is helping me. She goes all out and stays basically the whole day helping go from apartment to dorm.
At the end at night we are done and im sitting on the table helping her with math and she is standing leaning over my shoulder. At some point she goes and bites my neck. Im like “ouuuuuch why did u do that?” And she is giggling and says “im gonna sleep over ok?” And im like “sure you can sleep on my bed and ill sleep on the floor” and she mumbles “thats not what i meant…” leaves shortly afterwards.
These are the moments that i would like to take back. Haha.”
8. No, no
“One night at a party I was very high. This girl who I had been talking to comes up next to me and says “You’re really hot”. My dumbass brain mishears her and I responded with “NO, I’M REALLY HIGH”. Took me until the next morning to register what she really said…”
“Personal Story. i’m going to see a tinder date at her place, we talked and the subject of massages got up. I enjoy doing them, not in a sexual way, I usually do deep massage, it hurts. She asked for one, I said sure. started on the sofa, she said she wasn’t comfortable enough. we went in her room. she asked of I mind about removing her bra. I said no, but still had no clue about it.
I massage without oil. She had to propose twice for me to use her oil – 3 min later she said:” you know that oil is eatable”. at that point I understood it.”
10. I’m dumb
“I was 16 and I was at a bonfire. A girl I really liked invited me to sleep in her tent. Literally it was just us two laying down and that’s it. She was like nudging me too and was like, “So?” And I’m like “what? Can’t sleep?” Jesus I’m dumb.”
11. Makin’ stupid faces
“I had the hots for this guy. Very attractive, intelligent, talented, hilarious, the works. And we were close friends. I would look at him from across the room, smile a him and make stupid faces. I would come and hug him when it was cold or I was just bored or whatever. I complimented him and listened to his stories about his childhood and him opening up about abuse and all that.
But he had no clue I liked him. I spent weeks doing these things. And so did many other girls. But he was totally clueless and thought they were all just being friendly (he had low self esteem). So one day we were alone and I just kissed him. And it blew his mind. And then we started dating and we haven’t stopped for two years.”
12. A friend had to step in
“I spent almost 5 years flirting with a boy I liked in high school. Everything I could think of, compliments, gifts, spending time with him, texting him, getting to know his friends really well. I finally gave up half way through senior year because I thought he really did just think of me like a sister.Finally a friend of his was like “Jesus Christ Joe, date the damn girl.” Turns out it was 5 years well spent because we got married in April and he makes me the happiest I’ve ever been, even if he is the most clueless person I’ve ever met.”
13. Hint hint
“One time I was on a casual dinner date with a Vietnamese girl. We were talking about Vietnamese food and I mentioned bahn mis. When I did, she told me, “it’s actually pronounced ‘bang me'”. And I took it seriously, “oh wow I never realized it was pronounced that way! Thanks for telling me!”
I didn’t realize until weeks later what she was actually hinting at…”
“There was a very nice looking man at the deli section of my grocer. I walked up, gave him some side eyes and a smile, and then said “Mmmmm, bacon.”
He turned and walked away. I haven’t tried to pick up any guys with meat related lines again.”
15. A happy ending
“It was the first date with my now husband. We go out for late lunch and brews at a gastro pub. I wore a lower cut shirt, kept sitting in ways to make my boobs look good, flirty looks, took his hand across the table and rubbed his knuckles a few times, etc. He’s joking and we’re really hitting it off, but he mentions that he’s like this with all his female friends. So I feel like it’s a failed date.
I text him after the date and say that I’m not looking for anything in particular but would love to hang with him again, because I thought he was trying to let me down gently with the female friends comment.
But I’m still into him and persistent and we end up going on a second date to the aquarium. Except he’s so busy looking at the fish (I mean, I was too, we love animals) that even though I’m linking my arm in his and making sure I lean against him looking at the fish and taking his hand to show him new stuff, he still doesn’t notice. I even get burritos with him and take him to my special spot in some nearby tide pools to watch the ocean.
And now he has the nerve to say he was flirting with me the whole time!!”