I should probably consider myself lucky that I don’t have any TRULY bad date stories.
Honestly the worst ones I’ve ever had were maybe a bit awkward, mostly just boring. Nothing to write home about.
Or in this case, nothing to write Reddit about.
These stories blow mine (and probably yours?) out of the water.
1. We don’t mix
I had a date send her drink back several times and eventually had our server bring out all of the ingredients in separate glasses so that she could mix it herself, the “right way”.
What’s worse is we were both in the service industry at the time.
2. Ice cold
Met her at a bar. She ordered food but didn’t eat it since it “looked disgusting” (it looked fine).
So we left to go to a different restaurant and on the walk there, she kept ducking and glancing at the sky like she was being attacked by bats.
She hardly said anything over then whole date, it was like pulling teeth to get her to talk about herself.
At the second restaurant she took forever ordering and again didn’t eat because the food looked disgusting.
Emailing about the date afterwards, she admitted that she was high on “ice”, which I guess is some kind of meth?
3. Really dodged a bullet
Met a guy at a concert who asked me out to dinner the next weekend. Said we’d go to a restaurant halfway between his place and mine. Gives me the address which I printed out on Mapquest bc this was before GPS was normal on phones or in cars.
I get there and it’s an apartment building. Call him to say I think he gave me the wrong address and he said, nope! You’re driving. Takes me to an Applebee’s because they have the cheapest happy hour he said. We have one drink and he eats potato wedges by himself.
When I drove him back, he asked me where my overnight bag was. I said I’m not staying the night and thanks for the beverage.
He took my keys out of my ignition and told me to go upstairs. I told him if he doesn’t give me my keys back, I will start screaming and call the cops.
He threw them in the front seat as he got out telling me I’m missing out on hot tub time. I thankfully never saw him again.
4. Toilet carnage
A guy approached me at a coffee shop and we ended up hitting it off and talking all night. About a week later we had our first “real date” at my place so I could cook him dinner. I lived in a small one bedroom apartment at the time and the bathroom door was right next to the kitchen.
He excused himself before dinner and proceeded to take the loudest, and what I presumed to be, the most massive s**t this universe has ever seen. The sounds of the toilet carnage still echo in my nightmares. I of course didn’t mention that I heard the whole event and we went about our evening.
After dinner we got into my bed so we could watch a movie. 30 minutes into it, I needed to use the restroom, so I got out of the bed to reveal that I had unknowingly started my period and left a noticeable pool of blood where I was sitting. He helped me change the sheets.
Anyway, we’ve been married a year now and he still takes the nastiest dumps known to mankind.
5. Movie magic
Went to get drinks with a girl. Talk for about 20 minutes when she says “I have a boyfriend, but I’d still like to have s** with you. My boyfriend only lets me have s** with black guys though, so we’d have to film it and you’d have to edit it to make yourself black.”
I had to tell her I’m not that great of an editor. Also wtf.
6. Call me if you stop
I was set up by a friend’s girlfriend. Shown a picture and said sure. She was good looking and I liked the girl’s other friends that I had met. She couldn’t be too bad, right?
I call her and set up the day and time for pickup at her house (we were both still living with our parents). I arrive to pick her up and there she is with her parents and brother sitting around the kitchen table just talking. I get a bad vibe from everyone but her when she introduces me.
On the way to dinner I mention the tension I felt from them all. She says it’s because she just broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before – her family loved him and they were all upset with her dating someone else. OK, I can see that…maybe they’ll get over it and like me once they get to know me if we date for a while.
Later on I ask about her brother. No brothers. OK, cousin? No boy cousins that she is close to. What about the guy with her parents when I picked her up? That was her ex. There to have dinner with her parents. They have had him over several times a week since the break up trying to get them back together and had made sure he was there when I arrived. Sounded like a terrible situation to get involved in no matter how good looking I thought she was.
Dropped her off early, told her to call me if they ever stopped doing that, and never ended up speaking to her again.
7. Quick betrayal
Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me.
She says she wasn’t.
But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me.
8. A happy ending?
Met her for dinner, we seemed to hit it off well in the first few minutes, until I started feeling the worst pain ever in my side. Turns out I had a kidney stone.
I unfortunately had to nope out of that one very quickly. She had blocked me via text when I abruptly left dinner, so she never got the message that I ended up in the hospital.
I didn’t see her for years until we ran into each other at a bar, me with a different girlfriend, her with her husband.
I explained what had happened, she felt pretty bad, but hey, no long lasting harm done. I bought her and her husband a drink, chatted for a few, and left them to finish their evening together.
9. As my people say…
Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was h**ny, said “you look really awful in this light” and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other.
0/10 did not date again
10. Swinging the other way
It was a double date.
She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing.
Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date.
11. The accident
We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe.
She gets a phone call.
Suddenly she looks destroyed.
Her fiance had just died in a motorcycle accident.
12. The saddest…
Saddest was when I met a date at the bus stop outside the cinema. She was looking around worried until I said hello. She almost had tears in her eyes and replied “I didn’t think you’d want to show up after seeing me.”
She was a cute but curvier lass in early 20s and apparently had been stood up twice before. She wasn’t the most mature, but was really fun, and lovely. Had I not met the [now] wife, I’d have seen her again. I hope she found happiness.
13. All in the family
Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we’d go on a real date.
Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and…… she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified.
I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she “wasn’t sure if she was into”. Never talked to her again
14. No vibes
Setup an internet date. Arrived at the coffee shop and realized the pics were from a long time ago or really misleading. It was annoying but I’m no 10/10. We chatted over a coffee then opted to get lunch next door. I wasn’t getting much of a vibe but I was hungry.
As we’re eating and I’m struggling to keep the conversation going, in the window behind me this truck pulls up with two dogs in the back. Owner runs off on some errand while the dogs stay put. Mid-bite, these two dogs start going at it hard. I mean the one on top has the other bent over the edge of the truck. They are banging like the next stop is the vet. The entire time they are f**king, they just stare at me.
My date looked at them once or twice, awkward laugh, then tried to resume normal first date banter. I couldn’t do it. Just paid the tab and bounced. Neither of us messaged afterwards.
15. Gone fishing
I got catfished we talked for hours and when it came time to pick her up I CLEARLY saw it wasn’t the person I thought I was talking to… I just gunned it and sped off
And they say that romance is dead.
What’s your worst date story?
Tell us in the comments.