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The thing about the internet is that it’s this huge public forum where pretty much anybody can access and respond to the things you say.

And the thing about having a forum like that is that with so many eyeballs on your statement, odds are exceedingly good that at least one pair of those eyes is gonna be connected to a brain that just happens to have the most perfectly devastating response.

Ergo, the internet is basically just one giant clap back machine, and the results are hilarious and oof-worthy.

Here are fifteen examples of killer comebacks brought to us by the internet.

15. First languages

Clearly she meant speak American. Yanno, talk about guns and Tiger King.

14. Safety second

And just like Jurassic Park, we literally never learn.

13. Special delivery

(Club = team for all my fellow basic Americans.)

12. Social predictions

Don’t hold back, king.

11. Deep breaths

I might be suffocating but these download speeds are tight.

10. Packing heat

It was planted on me, I swear.

9. Cold shoulder

Every doctor: “This is way worse than a cold or the flu.”
Your cousin: “Nu uh.”

8. Well actually

If he was around to hear this conversation he’d cut off his ear all over again.

https://ryanrosslegs.tumblr.com/post/111237376092/shaxaphone-growlithed

7. Desperate measures

Get bent, bruh.

Ooof and well asked for. from clevercomebacks

6. Just kidding

Nothing better than when you can turn around a yo mama joke.

Dominance asserted from clevercomebacks

5. Born and raised

“If we went back to using obsolete techniques and technologies, people would be confused.” – a boomer’s idea of a sick burn.

Weird motives from clevercomebacks

4. Don’t cry for me

If being a man means I don’t get to care about my own parents then screw it, I’m a wombat.

In a post about “man up” being an insult. from clevercomebacks

3. Granting wishes

That kid is going to be a lawyer when she grows up.

Children are savages from MurderedByWords

2. Can’t take the heat

But…but…I saw a meme somewhere that said…

A Moron and a Microbiologist Comment on a COVID-19 Article… from clevercomebacks

1. The winter of our inconvenience

We’re so insular we literally forget there are other countries.

On a thread about wearing masks from clevercomebacks

That’s a lot of cathartic comebacks right there. Sort of revs you up to go plant a few yourself. Remember: don’t go looking for a fight. But when the time comes to strike, use the opportunity well.

What’s your favorite comeback lately?

Tell us in the comments.