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My favorite “fun fact” from the internet is “There are more stars in the galaxy than there are atoms in the universe.” It’s kind of a litmus test joke, because if you have even the most vague understanding of what atoms are, you know that can’t be true. But it has all the sort of syntax and wonder to it that generally accompanies a bit of trivia you might come upon.
Just goes to show you need to be critical of what you hear and what you spread, otherwise you might end up in an epic Reddit thread like this one started by argues_with_quotes on r/AskReddit:
The answers came rolling in, and they are truly astonishing. Here are some of our favorite highlights:
1. This girl should be the next little mermaid.
It’s possible to breathe underwater.
She then tried to demonstrate and snorted a bunch of lake water up her nose.
She was 14 at the time.
2. Apparently, our infrastructure was built with burgers in mind.
Had a friend try to tell me and a group of friends that every single Red Robin was off an exit 3 from the highway.
We tried to tell her that no, it was just a coincidence that she saw two like that or something.
Then when asked “do you know how exits work?” she replied “yes, every time there’s a Red Robin, they make it an exit 3”.
3. Some of these just DEMAND further explanation.
My cousin’s wife told me that blue eyed babies can’t wear Pampers diapers because they’re all allergic.
4. Freakin’ phones…how do they work?
Little sister’s friend said that a contestant on a singing show like X Factor came second after the finale because the contestant who won stole his phone and turned it off so he wouldn’t get his votes when people texted in.
5. This was part of a phenomenon known as the “Satanic panic.”
The band name “KISS” is an acronym for “Knights In Satan’s Service.”
“AC/DC” = “Anti-Christian Devil Children”
“Slayer” = “Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot”
…all told to us without irony by a Sunday school teacher, circa 1987
6. This “fact,” while pervasive, is not true.
I always like “if they are undercover law enforcement and you ask, they HAVE to tell you!”
7. Once you King of Pop, the fun don’t stop.
My mum told me Michael Jackson died from eating too many potato chips, in an attempt to get me to stop snacking..
8. There’s this tale of a mind-over-matter disciple:
Her: “You can do all kinds of stuff with your mind.”
Me: “Like what?”
Her: “Lift things, bend spoons, etc.”
Me: “Okay, cool. Can you bend something for me?”
Her: “Well no, my mind isn’t that good.”
Me: “Then why should I listen to you?”
9. The first half of the Bible literally takes place BEFORE Christianity, but OK.
A woman I worked with a long time ago told me that her proof of Christianity being the correct religion is that it was the first one.
10. What would we do without these brave highway linguists?
La Quinta is Spanish for “next to Denny’s”.
I thought they were making a joke.
They were not.
11. Mocking is a proud tradition in most places.
My girlfriend told me that in the UK mocking the royal family ‘is just not done’.
As if she’s never seen a shred of British comedy.
12. Of all the things to be worried about…
A lady told me that if you drink coffee while you are pregnant you will burn the baby and thats how people got birthmarks.
13. Vaccines cause adults.
My parents tried to convince me that homosexuality is caused by vaccines.
Little do they know that I’m gay even though they didn’t have me vaccinated as a kid.
14. This is honestly a better Ant-Man origin story than in the MCU.
If you put a bandaid over an ant while it’s crawling on you, it’ll get absorbed into your skin, fuse with your DNA, and other ants will leave you alone there-on-forth because they’ll think you’re one of them.
15. There’s GOLD in them thar statues!
Went to New York on a band trip in high school.
A boy tried to impress me with the “fact” that the Statue of Liberty is made of gold and they painted it green so people wouldn’t steal it.
I sure hope I’ve never spread any info that dumb. So quick before I remember all the instances of times I definitely did, I think I’ll wrap this up.
What’s the dumbest “fact” you’ve ever been told?
Share it in the comments.