Crushing on someone is delightfully painful in all of the best possible ways. It usually doesn’t end that well, but as you get older, you realize that’s okay – sometimes it’s better to have the illusion of something than the reality, after all.

If you’re wanting to shoot your shot with your crush but aren’t sure how to start the conversation, here are 16 suggestions from people who have been there.

15. Learning more about them is always a great way to start.

Ask them about their hobbies/passions/interests.

Not only will you learn more about them but it will make them happy and enjoy your company more.

People like talking about things they love.

I could talk about sewing and beekeeping all day.

14. If you’re looking for a certain type of person.

Who was your favorite figure that contributed to the fall of the Byzantine Empire?

13. That’s how you know whether to walk away.

Ask 3 questions

Ask them what they have done today

Ask a follow up question or relate it back to something if you can before asking a follow up (Did it take long? I use to do insert what crush did here. Was it difficult?)

If they gave an answer longer than a sentence, then ask them a question about themselves but have this set up beforehand depending on how long you have known this individual.

If they give a sentence answer, try another follow up question.

If they give one to two word answers, it means they’re either busy or not interested so you’re sh^t out of luck.

12. I can actually see how this could lead to a fairly hilarious conversation.

I don’t like sand.

11. To be fair, that’s an interesting topic.

A few years ago I ran into my crush and the only thing I could think to ask him about was to ask how much he knew about squatters rights law.

We’re married now. 10/10 would recommend this channel of discussion.

10. Anyone who can’t sympathize isn’t worth your time.

You heard about Pluto? It’s messed up, right?

9. Not enough people get asked this question as adults.

What is your favorite dinosaur?

8. You need to know right away what sort of person you’re dealing with.

Do you like cheese?

7. Listen – what a novel idea!

Compliment them on something they’ve accomplished not a physical trait they were born with. For example, don’t compliment their eyes but rather their running ability or singing etc. Then say you wanted to get to know them better. And then ask questions and listen. Good luck!

6. Things are classics for a reason.

How u doin’.

5. …so maybe we could watch the show together sometime?

“i wish they taught us more about vikings”

4. Go with what we all have in common.

Idk, I matched with a girl on Tinder and simply opened up with “How’s the apocalypse going?” and we had an amazing conversation.

3. Only use this if you’re a Psycho… 😉

Do you like Phil Collins? I’ve been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins’ presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group’s undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don’t you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your as$hole. Phil Collins’ solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

2. If this works just go ahead and propose.

Wanna see my Gundam collection?

1. It’s tried and true for a reason.

What music do you listen to?

If you can establish some common ground, you have an excuse for conversation whenever a new album you both like is released.

Ah, these take me back to the exciting/terrifying days of being single!

Do you think any of these would work? Do you have any tried-and-true approaches that do? Share with us in the comments!