Kids believe all kinds of hilarious and adorable things before they start really listening to – and believing – what the adults in their lives tell them.
If you think back to when you were little, I’m sure you believed all sorts of funny things other than the obvious (Santa, the Tooth Fairy, et al) – and maybe these 15 people’s recollections will jog your memory.
15. If only this were true.
For the longest time when I was young I believed getting new training shoes made you run faster.
As soon as I got a new pair I’d go outside and have my distance set between 2 lamp posts, I’d swear it felt like I was quicker with every new pair.
14. This is so adorable and it sounds like a children’s book.
When I was like 5 or 4, I strongly believed that it wasn’t people growing up that caused their clothes not to fit in anymore but it’ was clothes becoming smaller and tighter by themselves.
I planned to keep a piece of my clothing and see how small it could get and wether or not it would vanish at the end.
13. I need to know for how long, exactly.
That Robin Williams and Robbie Willians are (were) one and the same person.
He’d wear his old man mask when he was acting for a movie, and his normal version is the musician. Might have gotten confused after watching Mrs Doubtfire as a kid.
Believed this far longer than I’m willing to admit.
12. A true classic.
If you swallowed watermelon seeds they’d grow in your stomach.
11. I think that would ruin the world of sports’ betting.
That when they had an ad for an upcoming sport event. The footage they showed was from the future.
For some reason I thought all TV was live. So that meant that previews were from the future.
I blame having older brothers.
10. You’re parents should be ashamed of themselves…but lol.
When I was small I lived in a small town by an oil refinery. My parents convinced me that if you F*rt on site, it would explode. I was in kindergarten.
We went on a class field trip there once (not much else to do in the middle of nowhere), and I felt the gas building in my gut. I didn’t want to kill everyone, so I grew quite stressed. I realised that I would need to take extraordinary measures to prevent catastrophe. So I spent an embarrassingly long amount of time with my hand down my pants, blocking my F*rt.
Edit: It really doesn’t help that gas leaks can cause explosions.
9. I hope you figured this out before you started driving.
When I was young I didn’t realise that the car indicator was manually controlled by the driver.
I thought the car just knew where you wanted to go.
8. Because you believe you’re the center of the world.
that the moon or sun follows me every time I’m in the car when I was little
7. I mean, for some people…
When I first learned what s^x was, I didn’t realize people did it for fun.
I thought it was just a very clinical, boring thing people did when they wanted children. So yeah. There’s that.
6. I love that so many parents have nothing better to entertain them than bullsh^tting their kids.
There was a lighty-uppy fountain near where I lived when I was a kid. The lights changed colour and everything, it was pretty awesome for a kid.
My dad told me that a tiny little man was sitting in a tiny little room under the fountain, and he just sat there switching lights on and off.
I believed him for years.
Edited to add that my Dad will be thrilled to know that his bullsh^ttery got gilded! Thank you!
5. Someone was watching some weird porn.
When I was a kid, I used to think girls had different colored rings around their nipples.
Eye colors like brown, blue, and green.
4. Every little kid deserves to believe they can fly.
When my son was around 3yo, I told him that the red triangle button (4-ways) made the wings pop out so our car could fly.
He’s 6 now and still believes it.
3. A journey to the land of Oz.
When I was really little, I really thought the world was in black and white and suddenly became color at some point. I knew that the actors on TV were real people so they must have lived back when the world was grey.
This was backed-up by evidence of black and white photos in the family album that also then turned to color photos as people got older.
2. I can see how that might come back to bite him one day.
He believes, still to this day, that all bus stops are “sanctuaries” and that you can commit any crime and not be charged, as long as you are in the confines of the “bus stop”
Mind you, we are both 27.
I have no idea where he got this from, but when pressed about it, his answer is always this, “dude, thats why you see so many people at bus stops shooting up heroin and smoking crack/meth. They cant get in trouble there and if they OD, the ambulance knows right where to go.”
To which my response is, “youre an idiot. Drugs aside, what if someone murders someone else at a bus stop? Are they still free to leave?”
Him – “Dude im not gonna f*cking argue semantics over this, JUST LOOK IT THE f*ck UP. f*ckING GOOGLE IT. BUS STOPS ARE SANCTUARIES”
Then googling it only reaffirms his belief because theres not some very specific webpage that explicitly says that crimes are still crimes at a bus stop.. “see man, i f*cking told you. If i was wrong it would be on the front f*cking page of google”
1. So just don’t mess with them, okay?
Putting batteries in a flashlight backwards sucks light. Thanks grandpa, you got me.
Came to find out he got my dad with that one also when he was young.
I can’t remember anything specific, but my memory of my childhood is terrible!
Do you have something to add? We’d love to hear your funny childhood belief!