What is the absolute funniest thing you’ve ever witnessed in your life with your own two eyes?
I remember one of my male friends went into the women’s bathroom, took his time, came back and sat down like nothing happened because he had no idea what he’d just done. Luckily, no one went in, but for some reason, we thought it was the most hilarious thing we’d ever seen. That’s the story that comes to mind when I think about that question.
AskReddit users shared their stories and they are pretty darn amusing.
1. Pictionary night.
“A few years ago I was playing Pictionary with my wife and her parents. When it was my turn I had to draw “the bearded lady.” I’m terrible at drawing, so I came up with some stick figure with bo*bs and a beard with a large triangle behind it (it was supposed to be a circus tent.)
Everyone starts guessing, but no one is close. Suddenly, my father-in-law jumps up and shouts “Vagina! Clitoris! CLITORIS!!!!” He was so caught up in getting the right answer that he just kept shouting it.
At this point, we all lost it. I have never laughed so hard in my life. My mother-in-law still has the “bearded lady” posted on her fridge.”
2. Hahaha, that’s great.
“I was walking through my neighbourhood on a Sunday morning loudly singing, “Me say day, me say day O”, and a Jamaican guy popped his head out of the trunk of a car and sang “Day light come and wan’ go home.” He had been packing the trunk or something and I couldn’t see him, it was wonderful.”
3. Six seconds of glory.
“My sister and two cocker spaniels were out back. Sliding glass door closed, the two dogs decide to run at full sprint inside. ‘BA-BAM’ both dogs collide with the door. Then my unaware sister does the exact same thing. It all happened in about 6 seconds.”
4. Unclip your feet.
“I was sitting at some traffic lights a few weeks ago and a guy on a fancy racing bicycle rode up onto the traffic island to wait to cross. Except he forgot he was wearing those shoes which clip into the pedals. So he stopped, balanced for a second, and then just toppled over. At that moment the light changed to green so I had to drive off. On of the funniest things I ever saw.”
5. Oh damn!
“Substitute high school chemistry teacher demonstrating reaction between calcium carbide and water, test for the presence of acytlene with burning splint. Experiment instructions emphasized multiple times that only a single crystal of calcium carbide should be used.
as$hole poured the whole bottle into the petri dish and then sent the class nerd to the office when he tried to interrupt the guy. When he actually “tested” for acytlene, his whole upper body was engulfed in a fireball that shot up, hit the ceiling, and left a black soot ring. The guy was ok, except every hair on his head had been singed off.”
6. “It was quite funny.”
“So I’m sitting outside of Boudin Sourdough Bakery in San Francisco near the fisherman’s wharf, and see the guy come out with one of their bread bowls full of soup. Now if you’ve never been here let me tell you the seagulls are everywhere, and pretty aggressive about trying to get your food.
So the guy goes and sits down, and starts eating his clam chowder and the birds are everywhere, squawking like seagulls do, and you can see it’s irritating this guy. So he makes the mistake of tearing off a piece of bread and throwing it to the gulls. He thought it was bad before, but once they knew they could get food out of him he was surrounded. So one of the seagulls lands near the guy, and is standing with it’s back to him about 5 feet away.
The guy get’s up walks over and kicks the sh^t out of this bird, as soon as he turns around he realizes this was a mistake, I would say there were 50 seagulls on this guys food. He then screams, “Oh I see how it is, you send your retarded friend to distract me while you sons of bitches enjoy my food.” It was quite funny.”
7. This kind of thing was big in the ’80s.
“I worked at Santa’s Village, a downmarket amusement park, in the 80s. (See Adventureland for an EXACT replica of the scene.) Standing in my carnival game booth, I watched a kid stagger off the spinning teacup ride a good distance away, and then veer dizzily this way and that until he wound up directly in front of my booth, at the very center of my field of vision.
He paused a second, puked up everything he ever ate in his entire life, and then staggered out of frame. It was like this perfectly choreographed little movie scene—I can still play in my head. Thank you ’80s kid. You were, and still are, hilarious.”
8. Perfect timing.
“I was at camp as a kid one summer, and a tedious counselor was telling a story. Everyone thought he was boring, but for once, he had our attention. We stood in a circle in some woods, watching as his tale-telling became more animated due to our attention. At a climactic moment of his story, he pointed skyward and inclined his head, saying, “And I looked up…”
At that moment, a bird flew over and shat on his forehead. I thought I would stop breathing from laughing so hard.”
9. Wrong guy.
“Was at the movies with a buddy. He went to take a sh^t so I entered the stall right next to his for a reason I cant remember then came right back out. A few seconds later this gigantic 300 lb black fellow comes in and sits in the stall I was previously in.
My buddy, who thinks I’m still in the stall wipes his ass then starts waving the p*op-covered toilet paper to the guy in the stall. I’ve never seen anyone yell so many curse words in public before. While all this was happening I was on the bathroom floor crying and laughing harder than I ever have before.”
10. At your expense.
“My university choir went to Finland one year, which was an amazing experience. The day we arrived, my brain was a bit foggy from the jetlag, but I wanted to take advantage of being there so I went with my friends to explore Helsinki. I was walking down the street talking to one of my friends next to me when I walked straight into a pole.
I wasn’t hurt at all, just surprised, but as I collected myself I noticed that the only person who had noticed aside from my friend was this random Finnish dude on the other side of the street who was intensely cracking up from what he had seen. I think the sight of him laughing uproariously at my stupid moment is one of the funniest sights I’ve ever seen.”
11. People watching.
“A very very icy parking lot, and a bunch of high schoolers rushing to their car. I saw at least 20 people slip and fall that day. I really enjoy watching people fall.”
12. Stayed in character.
“We had a Halloween party with a pinata. Because f*cking candy. Anyway, one guy was dressed as Lt. Dangle, and one guy was dressed as the Hamburglar. Somebody knocked the pinata off the rope, and without missing a beat the Hamburglar picked up the pinata and took off. Dangle drew his gun and immediately gave chase, yelling into his F*ke police radio all the way down the street.”
13. Roland and Carl.
“In 8th grade I had a friend named Roland who was about 4′ tall and another friend named Carl who was about 200 lbs and about 5’7″. During lunch, in the cafeteria, Carl was getting his food and Roland noticed his sweat pants sitting on the bench. Roland put on Carl’s sweat pants, over his own clothes, and proceed to walk around with them pulled up over his head. Carl saw it and ran to catch Roland. We had tears in our eyes from laughing as Carl chased his own sweat pants around the cafeteria.”
14. At the Sci-Fi convention.
“I was at a sci-fi convention with a friend and we get on the hotel elevator. A 10 year old (or so) girl gets on dressed as 7 of 9 and these two fat guys dressed as jedi behind us start mocking her for not having ‘the goods’ to ‘fill out that costume’ (fucking gross). My friend, who is also rather large, turns around, looks them up and down, and starts heckling them for being fat jedi- “Can’t you use the force to put those f*cking M & M’s down? The pizza’s calling you to the dark side. Do you have to use the force to get your fat ass into those robes? Those aren’t even jedi robes, those are the hotel bath robes.”
Everyone in the elevator was cracking up, and when the girl got off on the next floor she had a great big grin on her face, turned around, and hi-fived my friend on her way off the elevator. The fat jedi got off on the next floor as fast as they could- it wasn’t even the floor they were supposed to get off.”
15. Come watch the falling party.
“Once at college there was an ice spot on the walkway outside our dorm, covered in a light dusting of snow. My friends and I all slipped on our way home. Later from our common room window we saw others falling. Within half an hour, eleven of us had gathered around the windows with tea and popcorn, watching every single person who walked down that path fall or flail crazily to keep from falling.
One time a really tall guy wound up doing a chicken dance for about seven feet, but managed to stay upright. At the end there was vigorous applause — but not from our room! We rushed outside, turned around, and saw that at least four other windows in our dorm had crowds gathered around them. We waved and eventually all gathered on the lawn for an impromptu “falling party.””
Alright, it’s your time to share? Which story did you like the best?
And… do you have a story of your own?
Let us know in the comments!