People aren’t generally in the mood for jokes about capitalism these days, so if you manage to craft a tweet about it that makes people laugh and doesn’t offend them, well, you definitely deserve to make it on a list like this.
If you’re wondering just how someone can make the topic funny, well, that’s why you’re here – just scroll down to find out.
(By the way, we hope you’re doing well today, because it’s tough out there. Just saying.)
13. You don’t even have to whisper.
— The Rogue (@LawrenceRogue) November 18, 2019
12. It does make everything less easy and less attractive.
Capitalism didn't give us the internet. Large-scale cooperation, open protocols, and free software gave us the internet. Capitalism gave us mobile sites that don't work because fifteen ads cover the screen.
— Existential Comics (@existentialcoms) October 26, 2019
11. Let’s just stop and think about what you said there.
'My wages, terms and conditions get worse every year. You don't see me striking.' MATE THESE THINGS MAY BE RELATED.
— Joseph (@JosephKay76) December 13, 2016
10. It’s basically the Hunger Games.
I have invented a new board game. The least deserving player wins, and every one else loses for no reason. I call it 'Capitalism'.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) December 8, 2017
9. Ok so not everyone wants to hear about it.
me: and how typical of late capitalism, how prophetic of a looming technocracy that you and i "rate" each other, policing ourselves on behalf of an anti-worker, Silicon Valley megalith that hoards data on our whereabouts,
uber driver: can i give you the aux cable or something
— Kelly Weill (@KELLYWEILL) April 3, 2018
8. The millennials are not to blame.
“the poor are killing industries by not having money” is a very creative way to avoid saying it’s actually the rich who are killing industries by hoarding wealth and privatizing everything https://t.co/vmWhyDEcS7
— hunter s. tonkson (@hunterroneous) November 30, 2018
7. So you’re saying nothing has changed.
Me at uni: *basically a social democrat*
Wise old people: “That’ll change once you get a job and pay taxes in the real world”
Me, after working a few years: “My retirement plan is dying in the communist revolution”
— ANTIFAbulous (@operaisma) November 14, 2017
6. A touchy subject, but a necessary conversation.
I'm sorry but there's certain things kids shouldn't see at pride. When impressionable lgbtq kids see gay bankers and cops flaunting their lifestyles at the parade, they get the wrong idea that queer liberation is possible within capitalism
— AJ (@AJhasawebbrand) May 28, 2019
5. Make sure to complete all steps.
HOW TO SURVIVE THE #HEATWAVE
?treat yourself to an ice cream
✊dismantle the fossil fuel industry which is literally burning the planet for the short term profit of a vanishingly small capitalist class
?loose fitting clothing
— Russell Warfield (@russellwarfield) June 28, 2019
4. Yes tell me more about how harmed you are.
A BILLIONAIRE IS GOING TO USE THE WORD "WEALTHPHOBIC" ON TV WITHIN THIS CALENDAR YEAR
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) February 5, 2019
3. It never goes well for the old guard.
You call your girl "Queen" implying she has a role in an outdated system, implying she is only good by virtue of birth…. LMAO I call my girl the proletariat because I believe in her future.
— The Gentle Freak (@mitchysuch) November 16, 2017
2. There seems to be something amiss here.
CORPORATIONS: Unions are pointless wastes of your money that do nothing
ALSO CORPORATIONS: For unrelated reasons, we spent $2.5 million on a campaign to discourage you from joining your useless, pointless union which does nothing (please don't join it)
— timb (@burgerdrome) May 10, 2019
1. History isn’t just for nerds, my friends.
toddler: when i grow up i want to be a princess
conservative (dumb): sorry kid boys can’t be princesses
liberal (also dumb): you can be anything you want!
me: [leaning in really close] let me teach you something about monarchy you reactionary little shit
— frank furtschool (zoomer) (@osamabishounen) July 1, 2018
I don’t know about you, but I’m laughing! Oh capitalism… you’re so flawed, but what else we got?
Oh, nothing? We’ve got nothing else? Cool! I guess we’ll just keep going with this thing then! Haha… our cool world.
Do you have a favorite joke about capitalism? Did we miss one and you want to add your voice?
Tell us in the comments! It’s completely free. Unlike everything else in this world.
*shaking my head and meaning it*