It’s tough trying to make your way through this world convinced that you’re not good enough.
And that belief manifests itself in all kinds of ways.
What screams “I have low self esteem” ?
byu/dudeARama2 inAskReddit
Here are some things to look out for, according to the people of Reddit.
1. Beating others to the punchline
In my high school there was this pretty obese girl and we knew she was self conscious about her weight, so instead of waiting for someone to make fun of her she would make fun of everyone else
– PresaMayo
2. Always fishing
When someone fishes for compliments or constantly finds ways to get others to compliment you.
people with a healthy level of self esteem don’t do this and don’t have to seek out affirmation.
– orange_cuse
3. No eye contact
Not being able to speak looking at other people face or eyes, something I say by experience, you just start to think they may judge you, or may notice that pimple, or how bad u have your hair in that moment, or your nose form. It’s like if I don’t see their faces they won’t see my defects.
I don’t know if I explained my self well.
– Coque379
4. Constant need for reassurance
Needing a lot of reassurance for basic things.
In my last job the constant stress of the position/lack of support was causing me to question every element of my job, even the simplest stuff.
– ConneryFTW
5. Aping around
The gorilla-like behavior of young males in social situations. The overly loud talking, loud jokes, competitive remarks to people they hardly know.
Bizarrely enough, on many YouTube channels this is presented as “Alpha” – apart from the fact that this whole wolf-pack-alpha-beta thing is completely Bulls**t (and doesn’t even represent the actual animals, let alone their human counterparts) – if anything Alpha would be completely relaxed. And would just do and wear and drink whatever they like. Including apple-tini. Because they are relaxed and sure of themselves.
Their nervous barking in bars and on parties is the complete opposite.
– JoWeissleder
6. Constantly insulting other people
The cheapest way to gain self work is through juxtaposition. I.e. “Let me s**t talk someone else to make myself feel better”. Unfortunately, these gains are short lived so they need to keep s**t talking other people to keep feeling okay.
Bonus points if the s**t talking is hypocritical. Watch out specifically for people who seem like they’re looking for a reason to complain about other people.
– ConneryFTW
7. Constantly lying
I went to school with a girl who told various lies. She was homeless and captured pigeons for dinner, she was a trained clown, her mom was paraplegic and wheelchair bound among others, but then graduation rolls around and guess who shows up? mom, and she is not in a wheelchair. Someone in class declares “its a miracle!!”
But wasn’t my face red a few years later when I went to a Busking Festival and I saw Lying Girl painted up as a clown.
She was pretty good, excellent balloon animals.
– NewToSociety
8. Sock puppet accounts
Having more than 1 social media account and using it to like the posts on your other account(s).
Mostly goes for people who use their business accounts to like pictures of themselves on their personal.
Anytime I see it, a new mayor of Yikes City gets elected.
– heavymetalharlot
9. Over-clarifying
“So, Saturday night… I guess it was really Sunday morning… the sun wasn’t up or anything, but it was after midnight…”
People who grow up with a lots of criticism and invalidation usually lack self-esteem.
They often feel like they have to be super-specific to avoid more criticism or accusations of lying.
– copperdomebodhi
10. Careful how you frame it
I kinda hate how so many people here talk so negatively about people with low self esteem like the person actually wants to have low self esteem.
I suffer with it pretty badly (obviously with this comment) and I’d love more than anything to not feel this way. It hinders everything in my life.
– El0nMusk0fficial
11. Overreacting to criticism
Insults and criticism aren’t fun for anyone, and it’s not a sign of poor self esteem to not enjoy that.
But the people who feel the need to go to extremes and get way too emotional in order to defend themselves over minor slights do so because their sense of themself is very fragile.
– DDThrowItAwayBB
12. Constant negativity
When someone always points out negative things or responds with a negative, especially when someone around them shares something positive.
A friend of mine got his first car, a 1999 Honda Civic, and brought it over to a friend’s house to show him. When he pulled up in the car, the friend said, “Why is it white? That’s so stupid.”
– uninc4life2010
13. The list
Avoidance behavior, regarding both people and experiences.
Blaming others for one’s own mistakes.
Fear of failure and even worse, fear of success.
Difficulty making friends.
Constant comparisons to others, always denigrating the self in doing so.
Inability to deal with frustration.
Low levels of motivation and interest.
Inability to take a compliment.
Visible signs of anxiety and stress.
– GlassDeviant
14. Hiding your body
I would say when someone doesn’t want you to see when they take off their shirt, or when they take off their pants or underwear.
I feel like people can play out the smaller things but when it comes to their body a lot of people really really try to hide it.
– Dopewaffles
15. Rejecting compliments
Compliments turn me into a stuttering mess.
Tell me I’m a piece of s**t or I can’t do something and I’ll calmly engage you and either agree or explain why you’re easily wrong.
Actually give me some affirmation and tell me I’m good at something?
I have no idea what’s happening right now and I can’t figure out what to do with my hands.
– country2poplarbeef
Pretty universal and uncomfortably relatable stuff there, I gotta admit.
What would you add to this list?
Tell us in the comments.