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Yeah you do.
Or you remember you just did not give a single fuck and stayed at home and at all that candy yourself?
Yeah you do.
Either way, you’re hungry for these tweets by the ladies of Twitter who make us all laugh.
Read. Laugh. Repeat. In that order.
1. I’m Rick James, bitch!
Here is my mother as Rick James for Halloween . I’m yellinggggg???? pic.twitter.com/U10chlFC2q
— this is questionable (@LaTriiis) November 1, 2019
2. Imma gonna have nightmares about Heidi Klum for a WHILE…
This Halloween, Heidi Klum dressed up as what I think I look like compared to Heidi Klum. pic.twitter.com/uPwQi5rNBI
— Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) November 1, 2019
3. Every. Single. Year.
this is where one might say “same” pic.twitter.com/AjhHwlsnvN
— Sarah Holder (@sarahsholder) October 29, 2019
4. You think I’m disappointed… but I’m not.
getting a “can we reschedule” text right before leaving the house pic.twitter.com/vnlpriaFZS
— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) October 29, 2019
5. Hahaha… you can’t kill GOLF!
horror movie where millennials manage to buy a house but it’s haunted by the ghosts of all the things millennials have killed
“what was that?”
“oh my god Jessica it’s GOLF”
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) October 29, 2019
6. Ok this is funny because it’s so true.
You know how when a child is cranky, we always say "oh, they're hungry" or "oh, they're tired" and then we feed them or put them to bed, and then they're much better?
It's the same for us adults.
— Gennifer Hutchison (@GennHutchison) October 30, 2019
7. Bitch… you best watch yourself!
This teapot is giving me attitude pic.twitter.com/sGm6hxsB3M
— Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) October 27, 2019
8. Burn the mailbox down immediately.
There is a bug in my mail box. That’s his house now. He is the captain. I wonder where I will get my mail.
— roxane gay (@rgay) October 30, 2019
9. Leave me alone hooman…
I decided to help him out because I thought he was stuck, turns out he just likes to be upside down lmao pic.twitter.com/jJma03I9E5
— camila? (@camilalissethh) October 25, 2019
10. You’ll never feel dumber…
Shout out to all the couples who have to have a serious argument in full costume tonight
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) November 1, 2019
11. Caught green handed!
A little girl with green hair chalk just asked me if my hair was dyed for Halloween. When I told her it was green year round she turned to her dad and screamed:
“YOU SAID GREEN HAIR WAS ILLEGAL AFTER HALLOWEEN! WHY DID YOU LIE?!”
— BJ Colangelo (@bjcolangelo) October 27, 2019
12. That COULD have ended badly…
At a party last night, I went up to a woman dressed as the goth baker from this season of Great British Baking Show to compliment her on her costume…. and it WAS Helena, goth baker from this season of Great British Baking Show. I then screamed into her face and we hugged.
— Emily V Gordon (@emilyvgordon) November 1, 2019
13. That checks out!
my therapist just referred to her therapist as my grand-therapist . trying to process.
— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) October 30, 2019
14. Hey, somebody had to tell him!
“Listen, this may be difficult to hear but you’re in major denial about the reality of your situation and I’m telling you this because I love you, not to hurt you” – me to the 2 year old I babysit who thinks he’s turning 5 this year.
— Alli Brown (@heyitsmeAlliB) November 1, 2019
15. I am now an AMAZING chef AND wine expert…
Me when I found out I had 1.2% Italian ancestry pic.twitter.com/bIiexpcCBS
— Rachel Fisher (@TheRachelFisher) October 28, 2019
Alright funyuns! You read them tweets and you laughed the heartiest laughs imaginable. Because that’s what we do right after Halloween. What else is there to do and look forward to?
Oh, Thanksgiving and the other holidays where we get things? Gotcha. I forgot…