I mean sure, there’s evolution, but we’re not going to be around to see the results of science’s long game when it comes to updates to the human being.
So, here are 15 notes people on Reddit would give God if he were considering an update to the human body/experience.
15. I’m not sure I support living another 100 years.
Human 2.0 Patch Notes
Fixed memory leak
Fixed random muscle spasms
Tuned down intensity of certian emotions (love, anger, ect.)
Fixed issue where not everyone has photographic memory
Expanded base life span by 100 years*
Lowered sleep requirement
*This one is still in beta though. Can be expanded with proper exercise and diet.
14. How about we just improve bone quality altogether.
Ankles and knees need to be more durable.
13. All of these would win a popular vote.
No periods, easy to gain/lose as much weight as we want, no allergies, born with self-defence mechanisms
12. That’s a desirable feature.
Let’s fix the bug where my brain tells me to keep eating past what I really need.
11. Endless sets of teeth!
Tooth regeneration. Bad one? Pull it and get a sparkling white new one.
10. In case he/she is making a list.
Patch Notes – Version 2.0
Increased durability of testicles.
Removed hair follicles outside rectum.
Decreased female menstruation frequency.
Added optional wing apparatus on back.
Created greater separation between esophagus and trachea.
Suppressed mental disorders.
Added night vision.
Increased muscle strength.
Reduced impact of fat intake on body.
9. Tell me more about these talons.
Less appendix, add talons, add night vision.
8. For the good of all.
Decreased fertility. Two fertile seasons per year.
Reduce unwanted pregnancies and overpopulation.
Plus, only 2 periods a year.
You’re welcome ladies.
#7. We do have a lot of bugs.
Correct the ‘eyelash falls out into eye’ bug
Increase metabolism past the age of 25
Remove bug of ‘why did I just come to this room?’
Install new regions of grey matter to prevent as$holes
Ability to manually switch on/off reproduction organs.
Increase ability to process thoughts faster before speaking
remove pedophile gene sequence entirely
remove greed factor entirely
6. But sleep is amazing?
Less need for sleep.
Instead of having to spend 6-8 hours sleeping every day, how about 6-8 hours a week?
Also, resistant to cancer would be cool too.
5. I mean what is the point?
No ass crack hair.
4. We don’t belong in the water, sir.
Gills would be cool, in addition to traditional breathing methods
3. I think everyone could agree on this one.
Get boners only at command and during sexy time.
No embarrassing has boners!
2. So, we need more holes?
eating and breathing should not share a common “pipeline”
1. It is a bit of a cruel joke.
Can we just drink salt water like it was normal water?
You’d think we’d evolve to drink the kind of water that covers most of the Earth.
Would you add anything else to the animal known as human being? I feel like this list could be endless, right?
Let us know in the comments!