Marriage is many things, and no matter how great yours is on a daily basis, one of them will always be hard.
An easy, fun way to keep things light when they want to go dark is to keep a sense of humor – and these 17 tweets will not only make you laugh, but they just might make you feel less alone in your troubles, too.
And that’s never a bad thing.
17. I mean not THE worst, but it’s up there.
Probably the worst thing to mention when you are in a fight with your wife is the video game you have paused in the other room.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 9, 2019
16. Isn’t this just understood?
My wife just got mad at me for fast forwarding through a commercial because she wanted to use that time to look at her phone.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 11, 2019
15. You’ve gotta bring home snacks for everyone.
You can keep your romantic gestures like holding a boom box over your head or boiling a bunny. Real romance is your husband coming home with family size bags of Skittles and Twizzlers.
— Stacey (@skittle624) January 18, 2018
14. It’s in the fine print.
No matter how hot the night is, never underestimate how cold your wife’s feet will be when she puts them on your back.
— Crockett™️ (@CrockettForReal) August 25, 2019
13. Maybe just back away slowly.
Me: Do you like these jeans or the ones I had on earlier?
Husband: The ones you’re wearing now look great.
Me: So the other ones made me look fat?
Husband: That’s not what I said.
Me: Isn’t it though?
— Jingle Bell Jawbreaker ? (@sixfootcandy) October 5, 2019
12. It’s a lesson you learn on your own, and fast.
When you get married, everyone tells you “Don’t go to bed mad” but nobody tells you “don’t start an argument at 10:30 pm”
— Tank.Sinatra (@GeorgeResch) December 2, 2017
11. Sometimes little white lies are best.
My husband spent the night away for a sleep study last night.
Husband, “I slept horribly, I just can’t sleep without you next to me. How about you?”
Me, thinking of how I had the most amazing night of sleep in my life, “Same.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 22, 2019
10. Just enjoy it and move on.
Got in my car this morning & was surprised to find my husband had filled my gas tank & had gotten it washed.
Act of kindness or guilty of something? Marriage is hard.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 16, 2019
9. I feel like there was planning involved.
Losing my wife 3 times in the grocery store and having her paged by customer service each time is why I get to stay home while she shops now
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 11, 2019
8. Big houses are overrated.
Husband and I like to spend our weekends shouting ‘what did you say?!’ from another room
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 19, 2019
7. Live and learn?
My husband told me I cheated on him in his dream.
The best response was not "Was he hot?”
I know this now.
— Marl (@Marlebean) September 7, 2019
6. No one can argue with this.
[signing divorce papers]
Him: I’m sorry you no longer want to be *Borat voice* MY WIFE
Her: This. This is why.
— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum) September 16, 2019
5. It wasn’t me.
Wife: Did you watch our show without me?!
Me: No. I can explain.
Me: We have a ghost.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 15, 2019
4. You probably don’t want to point this out.
*My husband is having a coughing fit*
Me: Please don’t die. I can’t reach the high shelves.
Him: We have steps tools.
Me: Good point. Carry on.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) November 15, 2019
3. There should be an app for that.
I kind of wish my spouse would get a side piece but only for talking endlessly about our home security system.
— The Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) August 14, 2019
2. Why are they like this?!
Me: We need to leave at 5.
Me: We need to leave in an hour.
Me: We need to leave in 30 minutes.
Me: We need to leave in 5 minutes.
Husband: So, I don’t have time to cut the grass?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 9, 2019
1. And still expects praise.
My husband doesn’t always cook dinner, but when he does he leaves every cupboard open, 800 dishes in the sink, and a layer of crumbs on the kitchen floor an inch thick.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 28, 2019
I’m off to share some of these with my spouse, because we need it today!
What’s your favorite way to alleviate stress in your marriage? Share it with us!