Ladies, it is neither my place nor my intention to tell you how you live your life.
But there are some truisms about all of us, in general, and the following women have some spot on observations.
Enjoy this trip down Twitter lane…
1. Oh yes. I’ve seen this happen.
Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’
— abb? (@abblucia) October 1, 2018
2. Carry ALL the garbage!
I always feel like I’m forgetting something whenever I leave the house carrying less than like 9 purses full of garbage
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) July 16, 2015
3. We’ve all done this, yeah?
level 1: venting by crying
level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone
level 113: venting by creating an intricate alternate universe scenario in ur head where ur a celebrity on a talk show dramatically explaining the sh^t u’ve been going thru
— f thot fitzgerald (@dracomallfoys) January 16, 2018
4. Oh honey… honey… honey…
my ex from a couple years ago has a new girlfriend and she liked and unliked one of my pics from a year ago and if youre out there i just want you to know its ok it happens to the best of us good luck out there
— Hana (@ohanabaig) March 5, 2019
5. Marriage material
women aren’t weak. I discreetly waxed my ankles during a phone interview once and didn’t drop one hint. you think this sh^t is a game? I’ll eat your husband.
— Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) August 29, 2018
6. Vital backup
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) April 25, 2016
7. Yep!
*owns 37 t-shirts*
*wears exactly 4 of them*— Myrrh (@ixix82) August 29, 2017
8. If I had a nickel…
You ever pull your cardigan closed across your chest with crossed arms and suddenly feel like a sentimental widow stepping out onto her beachfront porch at night, fondly remembering her past lover?
— April Fools Den (@daniellechezzy) February 4, 2019
9. Oh yeah, that’s not weird
Me, to myself: Okay, just be cool, don’t say anything weird
Any woman: *says something that makes me laugh*
Me, out loud: THAT’S HILARIOUS WE SHOULD BE SISTER WIVES BUT WITHOUT THE HUSBAND
— Not Sara (@smithsara79) May 22, 2018
10. Suddenly want to be in gnome school
Wearing black opaque tights: I am a sleek and sexy puma of a woman
Wearing any other colour of opaque tights: I teach art at the gnome school
— Georgia Wags (@georgialikesto) September 6, 2018
11. Crafty…
[shoving glitter glue and felt pens back into my bag, visibly upset] ok look all I’m saying is maybe you guys shouldn’t have called it a ‘craft brewery’ because people are gonna get the wrong idea and lemme tell you Karen this has been a big let down
— morton koopa jr (@cottoncandaddy) December 13, 2017
12. O_O
How to apply mascara:
Pull wand from tube
Open your eyes like a haunted doll coming to life— Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. ⚪️ (@abbycohenwl) February 21, 2018
13. bo*b time
Women can always tell when you look at our bo*bs. It doesn’t matter how quickly you glance. One second is like five seconds in bo*b time.
— Badass Julia Wei (@badassjuliawei) March 11, 2019
14. Hmmmm…
are you even a girl if you don’t tell people you’re wearing jeans and a nice top ????
— ebs (@ebonyfinchh) June 19, 2016
15. Tiddies? That’s so cute.
only two things are certain in this life: death and that if you fall asleep in a tank top when you wake up one of your tiddies will be out
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) February 8, 2016
16. Basically, everything
I am SUPER chill unless I’m hungry, overheated, running late, waiting in a long line, in traffic, at the doctor, on a beach, getting a massage, having a cocktail, sleeping,
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 31, 2018
17. Nobody said efficiency was wrong!
so excited to transition from wearing the same 5 things in the summer to the same 5 things in the fall
— Alice Roth (@aliceroth) September 19, 2018
Feel smarter? I definitely do. We can all learn a lot from the Twitterverse.
Now go out in the world and do something fun!
…or don’t and read some more of our content. Outside is overrated anyway. Oh, is that a bag of chips?