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Look, I’m an American, ok? And I’m proud of my right to eat whatever tf I want. I also accept the fact that everyone else has the right to judge my choices harshly, if they choose to do so.

So that’s what I’m gonna do to all of you, right now.

1. Like this. Wtf is THIS?

Photo Credit: Imgur

2. These are pickles brined in Kool Aid. Just stop it.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

That’s right. They’re called Koolickles.

Photo Credit: Instagram

3. Listen, I’ll eat it, but we can’t be calling it ‘cheddar cheese’, people.

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4. Why do people pay for snow cones?? It’s just ice! IT’S A CUP OF ICE CAROL

Photo Credit: Instagram

5. A donut bun cheeseburger is one of the more ‘American’ things I’ve seen…

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Ok but why tho

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. This is actually a great idea that doesn’t belong here. I just wanted you to see it.

Photo Credit: Imgur

8. That is deep fried butter, and I am amused.

Photo Credit: Instagram

9. That is deep fried sugar, and I am horrified.

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Have you ever really thought about what jerky is? Cuz I guarantee your teeth and cholesterol have.

Photo Credit: Flickr, andreelau

11. Explain how this applies to chips, please.

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. We’re deep frying bubble gum now? WHAT FOR

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. “Excuse me, ma’am, is that a brick of fries O_O”

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

14. This is bad enough without the chocolate chips.

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. WAT WHY

Photo Credit: Twitter

16. I am going to give this points for creativity, and you can’t stop me.

Photo Credit: Twitter

17. Oooo. “Natural butter flavor with other natural flavors contains no butter” is one of my all-time favorites.

Photo Credit: Twitter

18. I have questions…

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19. Oh, so we’re flavoring condiments with other condiments now? Cool.

Photo Credit: Twitter

We should all be ashamed about that last one. Truly.