We’ve all got secrets, but some nag at us harder than others. They can be little events or pieces of knowledge, or overall habits or situations that we just can’t bring ourselves to share.
These secrets came to light anonymously when user YourOwnBiggestFan took to r/AskReddit to ask the following question:
The answers ranged from the funny to the strange to the jokey to the very, very dark. Here’s a small sampling of just some of the things you’d never know Redditors were carrying around in their heads.
1. We contain a lot, and we don’t like it all.
A majority of the time, the voice in my head/first thoughts are just really unnecessarily mean. Towards myself, but especially others. Even those I care about. Extremely nit picky, selfish, rude, etc. thoughts. I don’t understand why.
Sometimes it leaks out into the real world on its really bad days, and I’m just an a**. It makes me feel pretty bad about who I am as a person sometimes. Because I really just want to be a lovely person and think the best about others. And I don’t feel like a good one very often because of these thoughts.
2. We carry failures everywhere.
That last year when I was suspended from work for 6 months it was due a failed post accident drug test, I wasn’t laid off.
3. Our stories get out of control.
I made up a person.
When I was in high school, I wanted to sound more popular so I made up a guy friend. He had am incredibly interesting backstory.
This went on for years, well into college. I had the same friends so I couldn’t just end the charade.
The funny thing is all of these people: my family, my best friend, even my husband believe that they met this man. I never introduced them to anyone, but over the years, they all have different memories of seeing him.
Finally, I just sort of phased him out, saying that we grew apart and lost touch.
And yet, people will randomly ask me for updates on him. I just give vague answers and watch my husband smirk from across the room.
My husband is the only person who knows the truth. I am so ashamed that I will never admit it. That lie was such a dumb thing that snowballed.
4. Compulsive lying is real.
I used to lie. Like a lot.
I used to make up stories to tell people, just for the sake of it. I don’t do it anymore, although this leads me to telling the same stories over and over
5. Careful who you tell your secrets to.
I keep seeing this girl I went to college with and her wedding photos
We weren’t close; but she decided to tell me and the rest of our group one day that she cheated on him at a sorority party and decided to not tell him.
It would be so easy to let the guy know anonymously.
6. Sometimes there’s no accounting for how we choose to lie.
My one friend has no idea that I’ve known that he doesn’t have kids for months, also that I know he’s been saying this and lying to everyone for attention.
He tells a very convincing story. He goes into vague details, has a photo of the girl, says that she’s been showing him fake paperwork as proof for the children. If what he says is true would be literally extortion. Everything. Little does he know that I’ve been watching closely and also researching to find this woman. I know she isn’t real and that he’s lying and been lying this whole time for almost a year. Nothing he says makes sense and it just keeps escalating which also doesn’t make sense. I literally couldn’t help myself but investigate.
If everyone finds out that he’s been lying this whole time it will spread like wildfire. He doesn’t have many friends and the friends he did have stopped talking to him because of his compulsive lying.
7. Money is the root of so much stress.
I’m in a lot of debt and its potentially going to ruin my relationship.
8. Little habits can turn into big problems.
I don’t trust my partner with money, I’ve been tracking how much he spends on weed per month and its a lot- i don’t know how to bring it up because we are saving for a house but 95% of everything we have so far, is from me, while he spends 500 a month on weed
9. The hunt for an income is cruel.
I need to be spending my time applying for jobs after I got laid off in April, but it’s so overwhelmingly hopeless that I can’t make myself do it.
My field is collapsing in on itself and I’m being sent rejection letters from retail jobs.
I’ve been telling people about all the jobs I’m applying for but really I’m just not.
10. Letting go isn’t easy even when we know we have to.
I logged in my bf’s Telegram acc from my device and found he was dating me and other girls at the same time.
Still reading his chats.
Gotta log out and leave him but i can’t
11. Scars can stay with us forever.
My room is a mess and I, an adult, treat myself as an abandoned child I once was, and I hate it.
It’s like a prison to never escape.
I wanted to stay around for my pet who was my only family, but he died in july.
Outside I’m “inspiration p**n” for many kinds of assault-related mental illness, but I’m really a f**king rotten shell of a human who is not even living a life.
12. Someone is reaching out.
I was so lonely in high school (I did online for my senior year) that I only got my xbox so I could use the voice chat to make friends.
I hate the way I look so much that it makes me physically ill to think about making friends who can actually see me.
Through voice chat, they just know my personality.
I don’t even like video games….
13. Healthcare shouldn’t be a matter of affordability.
I have a medical issue that could easily be solved by a quick telemedicine visit, but I’m barely getting my bills paid right now, so I’m just dealing with it as best I can with over the counter treatments.
It helps but doesn’t take care of it completely and it just keeps coming back.
14. We take two steps forward and one step back.
Two years ago I lost 70 pounds.
I swore to myself that no matter what I’d never weigh over 200 lbs again.
Right now I’m at 201 and I f**king hate myself. I’ve been dieting for three weeks, lost two pounds the first two weeks and then gained it back the third.
I feel disgusting.
15. Careful what you read on the internet.
I make up secrets and post them on reddit
16. Don’t drink the water.
In primary school (elementary) me and my friends saw water dripping from the rooftop on the playground.
Without thinking, we’d let it drop into our mouths and drink it, giggling and excited we’d found our own water source.
A teacher caught us and we had to be checked out because it turned out the water was coming from a pipe or something that rats had ran through
17. If you’re gonna cheat, at least be smart about it.
we had a candy corn counting contest in like 4th or 5th grade where you guess how many are in the big jar.
when no one was looking I carefully took the tape off the top thinking I was going to count them all or something and saw that they had written the total on the inside of the top so, being a genius, I took out about 30 of them, ate the evidence, and put my guess in for the number minus 35 – ya know, so it wouldn’t be suspicious if i got it on the nose – not realizing they weren’t going to recount them.
The winner guessed it within 20 of the number on the bottom of the lid. So basically, I cheated, sabotaged and still lost and I kept all that stupidity to myself for all these years.
18. You only get one mouth.
As a small I child I ate an old piece of gum from under a bus seat.
I’d really like to exchange my mouth for a new one
19. Always know where the bathroom is.
One time, when I was like 9 or 10, I had to go to the bathroom really badly while my family and I were at a hotel pool.
I didn’t make it in time, so I sat on the pavement and just s**t on the pavement. In my swimsuit.
When no one was around I snuck to the bathroom and tried to clean it up the best I could.
Never told anyone about that lol
20. Siblings aren’t pets.
When my sister was younger probably around 2-4 age range, whenever she did something I asked her to do I gave her a dog bone as a reward.
She never listened when we were younger but as soon as I started giving her dog bones she was a different person it was great.
this was almost 20 years ago now and I woulda gotten away with it too if it weren’t for my meddling mom asking why her breath smelled like dog food randomly
21. Crime sometimes pays.
when I was younger, I would steal coins from my parents and when I had enough, I would bring them to my dad and had them changed to paper bills and he would be so proud of me for saving coins that he would buy me ice cream or sweet bread
22. Tastes change.
When I was about 5 I used to prefer cat food to normal food, now I can’t stand the taste.
23. Don’t overreact.
That I hit some kid in the back of a trampoline park with a chain I grabbed off of a fence because he kept poking me
24. Flavor is an experiment.
I loved ketchup so much as a kid that I used to have it with cereal sometimes
25. Own up.
A girl from my school needed glasses after she got a snowball in her eye.
The snowball came flying from the other side of the building, across the roof and hit her in the eye.
This is 15 years ago. No one knows who threw that snowball………..the shame….
26. Be wary of handouts.
I accidentally stole a packet of Welsh’s gummies once.
It was at this walk thingy at my brother’s elementary school.
I was 11 or so and I thought they were just handing them out to everyone who attended the walk.
27. Always know the direction of things.
In 5th grade I stabbed a boy with a pencil in his arm.
It didn’t go deep.
We were goofing off and I planned on thumping him with the eraser end of my pencil, but didn’t realize it was the wrong end. he never told the teacher or his parents, but he held it over my head for the rest of the year.
28. Mortality is in your hands.
I used to try to suffocate my little brother with a pillow when we were young, it was just a joke since we did it to each other, but later we learned we could’ve accidentally killed each other.
29. There’s an animal inside you.
As a child I would sneak out at night and ate raw bacon cause it tasted so good.
Being honest, I ate a piece this last weekend and it still taste just as great. Sigh
30. You can con with the best of ’em.
Between ages 8-10 I stole about 3000 dollars from someone I don’t know.
31. Careful where you aim.
One time I spit my gum into a donation box for kids with autism thinking it was a trash can
32. Time is of the essence.
One morning i couldn’t be bothered making my breakfast AND a coffee, so i added instant coffee to my cereal, mixed it into the milk and ate coffee cereal
33. Always keep your distance.
That I am sat in my office at work, surrounded by a team of socially distanced staff, and I’ve just sh*rted
34. What is hidden will be uncovered.
In biology class we were dissecting a pigs eyeball and my hand slipped and the eyeball fell on the floor and me being extremely lazy I kicked it under a cabinet and it lay there for 2 years until someone finally found it.
35. You choose your legacy.
I drew a massive penis on the ceiling in my art classroom probably a metre long and its been there for years, i asked friends who have brothers and sisters there and they say its still there.
Its been like 8years now
36. Revenge is best served weird.
My senior prom was in 2010.
After prom I had a party at my parents cabin just outside of town. Later that night I found my boyfriend having s** in my car with my volleyball co-captain.
I didn’t confront them but instead went to his car (which was only 2 or 3 weeks old) and took a s**t in the passenger seat.
I wiped with some napkins he had in the glove box and put them in his cup holders.
I went back inside and kept drinking.
37. Get that crap away from you.
As a teenager I was abroad with my class. I shared a room with two other girls.
One morning I went to the toilet and take a dump. I was shocked as I saw that the toilet flushing was not strong enough to wash it away.
I panicked. So I grabbed it with toilet paper, wrapped it around and throw it as far a I could out of the window.
38. You are what you eat.
I once found a chocolate bar in a trash can when I was waiting at the bus stop… I ate it.
39. A fool and his money are soon parted.
I spent money on Boom Beach, that sh**ty mobile game.
40. Smoking is not cool.
I tried to smoke a cigarette with my a** .. a friend helped me put it there .. it didn’t work
41. You can have your cake and eat it too, but at what cost?
Last week I said I was going out for a drive to clear my head but I actually just bought a cheesecake and ate the whole thing in the car.
42. You’re gonna have a ball.
first time i jacked off was in the epcot ball :/
43. Nobody needs to know.
My vegan cousin just celebrated her 5th year of veganism for moral reasons.
Two Christmases ago I was in charge of putting together vegan posole for her and I put chicken bouillon in it on accident and I’m gonna carry that secret with me forever.
44. The naked truth is the best.
I’m in a meeting with a large defense contractor wearing absolutely nothing.
I love working from home.
45. If you see something, say something.
My friend’s kid eats PB+J with ranch.
I’m thinking of calling CPS
If you’re carrying out a secret that’s eating at you, don’t hold it inside. You’ve got people around you who care. Get the support you deserve.
What’s your secret?
Tell us in the comments.