Holy sh^t, everybody, this is gonna be a wild ride!

Abby Jimenez’s poor husband had to take some Ex-Lax (some of us have been there before), but instead of taking 1 to 2 SQUARES, the poor fella ate 12 DOSES OF EX-LAX.

Uh oh.

DIAPER RASH. Wrap your head around that…for an adult. Jimenez capped off the story with this line: “He let me share this story. I have no idea why. All I know is it’s a gift to the universe.” A gift, indeed.

Jimenez (who might now deserve sainthood) gave the world an update on her husband after the ordeal. She said, “My husband is doing great. He said his life flashed before his eyes for a solid hour and then he just sorta popped out of the bathroom like *jazz hands* I’M FINE.”

She added, “I’m still crying. I can’t even drink my latte because I keep choking thinking about it and spitting my coffee back into my mug,” she wrote. “I had to lay down sideways in a restaurant booth because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe, three full hours after this happened.”

She also said that because the story went viral in such a big way, Dude Wipes offered to send her husband some of their product. You know…just in case something tragic like this happens again.

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Because a #DUDE certainly sh^ts in the woods.

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Lay off the Ex-Lax, people. It’ll only lead to bad things…and your wife might put you on blast…