Fair warning, you haven’t laughed this loud in a while.
So then… do you feel left out when Pride Month rolls around? No?
Well, some people have definitely taken issue with the LGBTQI community having a whole month to be proud, so they’re organizing a “Straight Pride Parade”.
Why? Because… reasons?
Naturally, Twitter got in on this nonsense and outlined what a straight pride parade would probably look like…
Floats for the Straight Pride Parade…
– Giant AXE body spray
– Bag of Doritos
– Big Mountain Dew
– Tomi Lahren riding a Swastika
– Jacob Wohl waving on a Twinkie
– Charlie Kirk in a diaper
– The curly hair gun girl in a beige leotard riding an AR-15
– Giant Parent’s basement— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 4, 2019
And yeah, Axe was having none of that…
we’ll be at the parade that matters and this one isn’t it
— AXE (@AXE) June 5, 2019
And did somebody on the internet get upset about that? Yes. Yes they did.
Good to know you don’t support straight people. How very uninclusive and intolerant of you. My straight son and my straight partner have decided to no longer use your products, since you don’t support them. I’m glad, because I think @Axe smells like garbage. #stayoutofpolitics
— Jill Lennon (@karmatastrophe) June 5, 2019
Did that stop Axe Body Spray?
Gay rights are human rights but go off jill
— AXE (@AXE) June 5, 2019
And others wanted to get in on the roasting fun
What color khakis are we wearing to the straight pride parade? I was gonna go beige but I have an old navy gift card so I am also open to warm beige or light tan
— monica vasandani (@monicavas) June 5, 2019
Lots of khaki jokes…
The Straight Pride Parade is just five guys wearing this pic.twitter.com/rBMUzdqjk7
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) June 4, 2019
Twitter can do this all day…
if y’all heterosexuals want a straight pride parade,we have to ban heterosexual marriage first pic.twitter.com/wckV98FSoR
— ??????????♂️ (@iamsebastianB) June 5, 2019
But would this really be such a bad thing? Because comedy…
a straight pride parade would unironically be excellent to watch because
1- parades are gay as hell
2- there’s no way a parade put on by straight dudes wouldn’t be hilariously bad. it would reach tpusa diaper levels
pls let the boston straights do this.
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) June 5, 2019
So maybe we’re looking at this all wrong? If we all come out in favor of these parades, wouldn’t that actually be hilarious?
Food for thought…
Regardless, to Axe Body Spray we just say this, “Well done.”