There seem to be three types of people in this world when it comes to matters of sexism and social discrimination generally.
- There are those who recognize its ubiquity and dedicate much of their energy combating it.
- Then there are those who seem hellbent on denying its existence in any form, no matter how much evidence is brought to their attention.
- Finally, there’s the group I think I fit into most of the time. The guys (and let’s be honest, it is mostly guys) who 100% believe that discrimination is real and needs to be addressed, but who rarely understand the extent of the problem, because we just haven’t seen it in action as much as others have.
This story is a great illustrator of how eye opening it can be to get a clearer perspective on what discrimination is like. Martin R. Schneider (whose LinkedIn profile lists him as a “People-First HR Strategist, OD Practitioner, and Career Coach,” posted a long and very revealing Twitter thread about the time he stumbled into a “workplace sexism experiment.”
The results were incredible.
Preface
So here's a little story of the time @nickyknacks taught me how impossible it is for professional women to get the respect they deserve:
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 1: Bad Boss
(This boss was an efficiency-fetishizing gig economy-loving douchebag but that's another story.)
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 2: Chain of Command
But I got stuck monitoring her time and nagging her on the boss' behalf. We both hated it and she tried so hard to speed up with good work.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 3: Resistance
Telling me his methods were the industry standards (they weren't) and I couldn't understand the terms he used (I could).
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 4: Discovery
Anyway I was getting sick of his shit when I noticed something.
Thanks to our shared inbox, I'd been signing all communications as "Nicole"— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 5: Immediate Improvement
IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT. Positive reception, thanking me for suggestions, responds promptly, saying "great questions!" Became a model client.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 6: Yeah. A lot.
So I asked Nicole if this happened all the time. Her response: "I mean, not ALL the time… but yeah. A lot."
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 7: Hell
I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 8: Head-start
By the time she could get clients to accept that she knew what she was doing, I could get halfway through another client.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 9: Invisible Advantage
I showed the boss and he didn't buy it. I told him that was fine, but I was never critiquing her speed with clients again.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 10: Used to It
Here's the real fucked-up thing: For me, this was shocking. For her, she was USED to it. She just figured it was part of her job.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Chapter 11: Took it in Stride
Anyway, I'm bad at knowing when to end Twitter threads, but. Yeah. Fucked up, right?
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Epilogue
(feeling bad because @nickyknacks is trying to give up Twitter/phone apps for lent and I bet this is making that REALLY hard right now.)
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Response: She Coulda Told You
Followup: This is valid/legit criticism. I’m getting some praise here I don’t think I deserve (but will take anyway)https://t.co/NlYhVEBhqg
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Response: Rude is the Norm
PS, surprising no one:https://t.co/iTjmViYFuJ
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Depending on which of the three groups you belong to (the ones I mentioned up top), you’re either not even slightly surprised, resentfully refusing to believe this is true because it doesn’t jive with your worldview, or, like me, you’re just a little surprised, and a lot disappointed. We gotta do better than this.
Have you had experiences like this?
Share them with us in the comments.