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I’m a big Sci-Fi fan. I love the way the stories capture my imagination, and exhilarate the part of my brain that hopes for a bright technological future for humanity. But one element just doesn’t get explored enough in the genre: could you travel around in space via farts?

Thankfully, Imgur User TheGameMaker apparently asked a couple of aerospace engineers about it, and he posted the results to a thread, so that we might incorporate them into our research as well. He starts by posing the specific parameters of the hypothetical:

The scientists immediately get down to brass tacks.

No mention yet of whether space tacos would be involved.

I would have paid way more attention in algebra if we’d have studied gas math.

I never thought I’d find myself struggling intellectually to keep up with a conversation about farts, but here we are.

At this point, a real adult scientist is apparently reading “a lot” of articles about fart speed, and critiquing them.

TIL I fart a pop can’s worth of gas?

They’ve included some helpful equations here, which I completely understand will totally study later to verify.

Ah, yes. Numbers. Well done with those.

So, what does all this mean?

Sadly, the conclusion is that human fart technique simply isn’t space-ready yet. But tonight, I’ll be staring up at the moon and whispering “Someday…someday…”

What’s a dumb science question you’ve always wanted to ask? Put it in the comments.