It seems like there’s pretty much a warning label on anything you come across anymore – except for the one place where we probably need to see more warnings, and that’s on our fellow human people.
So it comes to no surprise that the fine folks over at reddit asked the following question…
For the good of those around you, consider these warning labels (courtesy of the people of Reddit) to apply to yourself if you fit one of the following descriptions:
Tolerable only in small doses.
Warning: becomes attached to people very easily.
As is. All sales final.
Caution: Hard to motivate.
Interests may change randomly, mental stability not guaranteed.
Do not mix with alcohol.
Short Battery life but charges quickly (I’m narcoleptic lol)
7. A bunch of people.
It may say something like:
“Buy one, get one free”
Warning. May contain gas.
Caution: Explosive material. Authorised personnel only
I’ll remember everything you’ve said and it’ll be awkward when i bring it up in a few years as if it’s nothing.
Warning. Believes it is funny. Is not. May give off jokes at inappropriate times. Do not leave unattended at social gatherings.
12. I’m a lot.
Do not remove from container without good reason. Contents of this package are surprisingly enjoyable but wears out easily with overuse.
Liable to expire at any time, no refund available.
Store with cats for best results.
Warning: I’m sorry for apologizing so much.
Caution: gives a sh*t.
15. A niche expert.
Warning: may tell you disturbing facts about animal genitalia.
Object appears cooler than it actually is
If you can read this you are too close
But in really big letters
18. Poorly endowed.
Warning: choking hazard. Small parts.
19. Falling apart.
Some assembly required
Approach with snacks
Do not eat.
extremely awkward, handle with care
24. A lost cause.
Condemned: stay away for your health and safety.
Warning: Despite liking you & enjoying your company, this person suffers from debilitating anxiety & will likely never contact you to do anything for fear of bothering you.
“He isn’t yelling at you. He just has a big voice.”
Poor Impulse Control
For best results, please use before expiration date.
Warning: Extremely stupid, flammable.
Likes to talk, just doesn’t know how to start a conversation.
Likes dogs more than humans
Caution: this person can’t focus on one topic and in one sentence there will be at least 5 topic changes
Warning: Filter gone
Warning: cannot think of anything to add to a conversation but still enjoys listening.
Speaks mostly in profanity
Will spank you once I get comfortable around you.
37. No touchy.
“Low self esteem, do not touch”
Occasionally depressed or hyper .
Low storage space. Information may not be saved correctly.
Beware: Certified *sshole
If muttering is heard please ignore, voice setting is on low.
Warning : Full of lust.
Warning: May talk for hours at a time, nonstop
I did come with one…my face says it all.
45. A literal Gremlin.
Avoid direct sunlight and don’t feed after midnight
I could probably do with a few of those.
What would your warning label say?
Tell us in the comments.