With social media feeds and a 24 hour news cycle, it feels like we’re all expected to have strong opinions on just about everything. And even still, each of us manages to find something stupid to adhere to so firmly and passionately that people around us will say “Dude, why do you care so much?”
These passions were revealed en masse when user shazulmonte took to r/AskReddit with the question:
What is the pettiest, silliest, most meaningless hill you are willing to die on? from AskReddit
It probably won’t shock you to learn that tens of thousands of people had some VERY strong opinions that they were EAGER to share.
Here are a few of the best ones:
1. Put. Things. Away.
After you’ve finished using something, say, a pair of scissors or a flashlight,
PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY f*ckING BELONG
so the next person can use them!
2. Practice good elevator etiquette.
The people ON the elevator EXIT FIRST; that means BEFORE the losers waiting FOR the elevator ENTER.
If I’m riding an elevator, and you try to get on before letting me off, I will make it awkward for everyone involved and I will have literally no shame. Is negative shame possible? I will have negative shame for making you feel awkward trying to block me from getting off the elevator.
3. Proximity is key in communication.
Please don’t try to have a conversation with me when I’m in another room, especially if I’m doing dishes, laundry, making food, showering, etc.
I’m trying to listen to you, but cannot clearly hear what you’re saying. Odds are I’m going to ask you to repeat yourself three times or I’m going to ignore you until I can come to where you are. Either way, you’ll likely be pissed about it.
I now understand why that pissed my mother off so much when I was younger.
4. Toss your trash.
For the love of all holy f*cks, if you take the last of something THROW THE f*ckING BOX/BAG AWAY…
SINCERELY, ALL PARENTS EVERYWHERE
5. Know the difference!
Every day: something that happens every day
Everyday: ordinary, unremarkable
6. Never be “that guy.”
Having any sound coming from your phone over the speaker in public.
TF is wrong with you? I don’t need to hear your sh^tty music OR your conversation!
7. I’d like to not die on the road, please.
Those new ‘extra safe, high visibility’ headlights should not be installed in any vehicles larger than a wagon.
I don’t need LED spotlights pointing into my eyes from the front and all three mirrors.
Seeing is fun for other drivers too.
8. You’re old enough to know how aisles work.
You’re not the only person in the grocery store, lady! Move your cart to the side IN ANTICIPATION of others trying to get by.
It’s not predicting the future and you really need to work on your spacial awareness.
9. Don’t be a looser.
You LOSE LOOSE change.
Your team did not loose.
You did not loose your wallet.
You don’t have lose change.
This is my Waterloo.
10. I will not be cable-shamed.
That box of useless cables in my closet?
You know the one that has a bunch of old USB cables, RCA cables, even S-Video cables, and a sh^t load of AC adapters I can’t find the ends for?
Yeah, that box is mine, and I will NEVER throw it away.
Even if it only comes in handy once a year, I’ll be damned if it doesn’t feel great feeling like a dang hero when your friend or family member needs one of those “useless” cables for something.
11. Star Trek is responsible for in-universe mass genocide.
That teleporters kill the person and create replicas on the other end.
12. For all. Intents. And Purposes.
I may very well consider murder whenever I see/hear the use of “for all intensive purposes”.
13. Take the time!
When not in use, the microwave is a clock.
Stop leaving your unused time on there!
You just have to hit the cancel button once, damn!
14. Stand up to the man.
I work in a national grocery chain known for its organic foods.
My job just started implementing break logs for our 10 minute breaks, we don’t have to punch out for them and get 2 per day.
Someone was caught taking longer breaks and instead of talking to said person like an adult we all have to keep log of our breaks.
Im a grown ass man and won’t sign the logs because I don’t believe in collective punishment.
15. Phone aversion is real.
I will go to enormous lengths in order to avoid speaking with someone over the phone.
Email, text, go to their office, sit and fume …. I don’t know why exactly, but I f*cking hate it.
Reading these over, I’ve started to wonder what my weird hill to die on is. If I had to pick just one, I’d say it’s that everybody uses the word “theory” wrong when talking about science stuff. LOOK IT UP.
What’s YOUR petty cause?
Tell us in the comments.