This one goes out to the teachers.

Throughout the school day, all teachers hope to impart wisdom into the next generation. But beyond math equations and reading groups, teachers get to experience the hilarity of what kids say.

u/moosepajamas asked Reddit:

“Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a student say?”

And the forum dropped a few outrageous quotes!

10. Bathroom break time? Nope.

“One of my pre-kindergarteners was squirming as we lined up for lunch. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, and he said no, but kept squirming.

So I asked if he was sure, and he said, ‘I’m OK — it’s just that my p*nis is so big.’ He had an erection.”


9. Compliment or insult?

“I wore a Captain America shirt to school for ‘Super Hero Day,’ and one of my students said I looked like Captain America before the injections.”


8. A wise child once said…

“One of my 7th graders asked me where babies come from, and another student replied, ‘Well, when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…they get a bottle of scotch and a cheap motel room.”


7. The kid’s got a point!

“I heard a student say, ‘I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it, but he hasn’t even brought up horoscopes yet, and we’re 6 weeks in!'”


6. Burn!

“I’m a math professor, and I had just finished a proof when I asked my students, ‘Does everyone understand my choices?’

One of my favorite students piped up and asked, ‘Are we talking about your proof or how you’ve chosen to live your life?'”


5. How did she know it’s salty?

“I was teaching a lesson on whales in my high school science class, and had just mentioned the sperm whale when a girl asked, ‘Is that why the ocean is so salty?'”


4. Speech impediments make for funny moments

Taught ESL for a year. Had an adorable 6-year old who could not say clock. We worked for weeks at it with her, she just could not say it.

“Poppy, what time is it?” “Its 6 o’cock!”

I couldn’t help but laugh every time.”


3. Ouch

“One of my students was hugging me goodbye when they took a deep inhale, smiled up at me lovingly, and said, ‘Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like Chuck E. Cheese.'”


2. Jesus…

“I teach elementary band, and once we were preparing for a playing test when one student said, ‘Man, I need to practice.’

Without missing a beat, the kid next to him said, ‘My mom says I need Jesus.'”


1. Good point

“One of my students once asked me, ‘If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?’

I lost it in class.”


At least teachers get a touch of humor while they work!

Tell us your funniest kid moment in the comments! Even if you’ve ever been a teacher, we know you’ve heard one. 😉