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If you want to make it through your 20s, you need a wide variety of friends that can help you out.
Some of them help you have fun, some of them are there when you need them and some, well, they’re kind of garbage friends, but it’s still nice that they’re around.
Here are the essential buds you need in your life so that your 20s run smooth as motherfucking silk.
The Errand Runner
You want to minimize those impulse purchase? You need a shopping buddy… stat!
Ms Bad Influence
TBH, this friend is only good for the first half of your twenties. And they better not be somebody you’re sexually interested in, otherwise you are DEFINITELY going to fuck them. A lot.
And if you’re still into having Ms. Bad Influencer in your life in the back half of your twenties, you’re both probably alcoholics.
The Sex Goddess
The only kinds of friends you need pic.twitter.com/AR5vqhJ4fO
— Jessica Higgins💖 (@jessiccalilyx) May 7, 2019
In this hookup culture, having a more sexually-experienced friend is absolutely essential. And hey, if the ribald conversations get too blue… you can always call in “The Bad Influence” to run interference.
The Checker Inner
Honestly, this is kind of a garbage friend because they’re not really there for you. And do they really care about your well-being? Hmmmm, well, at least they pretend. And sometimes that’s nice. I guess. Whatever.
Every woman needs a friend who will read her important emails and take every “just” out for her.
— Kaitlyn Schiess (@KaitlynSchiess) January 31, 2019
Always just keep this friend at the ready because they could be just the thing to just make any text, email or cover letter all better.
Every woman needs a friend who has the research skills of a FBI agent.
— Bubbles n’ Booze (@BubblesnBooze) May 10, 2018
Whenever it’s time to do recon on your possible new boytoy/fuckbuddy/friend… this gal is your baroness in dark web armor.
Every 25-year-old woman just needs a friend who’ll say “No, you don’t have to take a shower, your hair isn’t that greasy.”
— Spencer Porter (@porters) May 13, 2013
I have no pity for those of you out there that wants somebody to lie to you.
Your hair is greasy bish. WASH IT!
When I snap my friends
Climbs a fence to get the right angles
Lies down to get the right shot
Looks for the perfect lighting for them
Takes like 1,000 pics so they have options
When they snap me
Take 10 shots
Take blurry photos
Uses flash now I look like a demon
— Pastor Ola ✨ (@Biisi96) November 3, 2018
They know how to do it for the gram. And that is more valuable than gold!
Okay, we’d take the gold instead, but this is still valuable.
The One Who Knows You’re Awful
sign of true friendship pic.twitter.com/cXPWwpC0vT
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) November 2, 2018
Yeah, they know your secrets, but they won’t judge you. Actually, they’re more likely agree with you and carry all your secrets to their grave.
Thank god… because that is a large bag of no no.
The Awkward One
When your friend is crying and you don’t know how to comfort them pic.twitter.com/vkuvgWMjX4
— Emma (@EmmaVanEaton) March 8, 2015
They have no empathy, so they don’t know why you’re crying, but that’s okay because they’re still there helping you out anyway…
The Bold One
— A Literal Homosexual (@kyry5) April 18, 2019
“Ummm, excuse me waitress. You got her order wrong. Could we fix this? Thank you.”
God damn you’re the best.
Thank you Bold One!