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Okay, real talk…
These people know me better than I know myself.
Or at least they’re willing to say on Twitter what I truly hate to admit about how I conduct my life.
Is this getting too personal? Well sorry Becki… deal with it!
It’s okay. We all feel a little attacked, but at least we’re in it together!
1. Danger zone.
ME: I look cute
MIRRORS: you look cute
STORE WINDOWS: you look cute
OTHER PEOPLE: you look cute
IPHONE FORWARD-FACING CAMERA: what’s up you Shrek-lookin bag of bitch
— katie (spooky) (@katefeetie) June 10, 2018
2. The best day of my life was when I gave up trying.
Me tryna fold a fitted sheet pic.twitter.com/3ujoIZYG7Z
— la'derrick (@khaleezy) June 17, 2018
3. Humans are complicated.
When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed
When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved
— Katie Bergey (@katiebergey) November 2, 2017
4. I mean but slowing down is not an option?
You know how when you're a fast walker and the guy ahead of you is fast too but only 90% as fast as you, so you MUST pass him, but to pass him you have to walk comically faster than your normal speed, or else you'll be in his personal space too long as you pass? That's annoying.
— Gabe Rivera (@gaberivera) January 17, 2018
5. It really is excessive.
i just don’t think we should be expected to do something every day
— jesse (@_jorts_) June 13, 2018
6. It’s what happens when you sell your soul for a paycheck.
My customer service voice is the fakest bitch. I don’t know her
— Deyoncé (@deelalz) June 19, 2018
7. What fire?
Me checking my bank account and calling my friends to make plans anyway pic.twitter.com/vH9NBklCwR
— ᎶᎥᏞᏞᎬᎽ (@TraeGilley) July 5, 2018
8. What sort of person doesn’t carry all of the groceries at once? Losers.
I'd rather die than make two trips carrying in groceries! pic.twitter.com/LuNXXJJ5nD
— Quid Pro Ho (@HoJoLego) January 17, 2017
9. And scream while I do it.
2006: *spends more on ringtones than the total cost of my phone*
2019: if my phone rings at all I will literally throw it away
— tony (@sadvil) May 8, 2019
10. Your point?
“you always look tired”
BECAUSE I AM TIRED BITCH pic.twitter.com/pVi6dkf98J
— ezra miller’s ugly cousin (@tristehomo) July 19, 2018
11. I don’t even want the present okay?
8 year old me when my mum made me ring people to thank them for my birthday presents pic.twitter.com/imCHG9cBeC
— Andy Leeman (@AndyLeeman91) April 22, 2019
12. It’s not a secret language, people.
When I say “I’ll let you know”… pic.twitter.com/KLn5n0Zmg1
— D'USSE ’til I dizzieee (@kenshinestate) July 7, 2018
13. It’s almost always the latter.
Once u pass 27, every day becomes a game of “am I sick or is this just how I am now”
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) May 16, 2019
Be careful when you look at Twitter – it’s looking back!
But yeah, which one of these tweets looked directly into your soul? Let us know in the comments!!