There are two types of people in this world; those who love Star Trek and those who are wrong. Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek (at least the first few incarnations of it), were an optimistic view of the future; a vision of what humankind could accomplish when we left greed and misery behind and embraced science, cooperation, exploration, diplomacy, and tolerance.

Oh, and there’s some weird alien s^x stuff in there too.

If you clicked this link, you’re probably already aware of what a Klingon is, but just in case; Klingons are a fictional race that exist in the Star Trek universe whose entire ethos is based around a warrior mentality. They are hulking, brutal, fierce beings with a pretty fleshed out backstory at this point. The Klingon language, for instance, (a constructed language, like Tolkien’s Elvish), has thousands of words and many fluent speakers. The canon also has a few things to say about how they do the nasty.

As Tumblr user demongoth put it:

According to memory-alpha, a sort of Star Trek wikipedia:

“It was not uncommon to break multiple bones during Klingon amorous play. In fact, fracturing a clavicle on the wedding night was even considered a blessing on the marriage.”

Pretty crazy stuff. But how does this poetry/roaring courtship work in non-hetero relationships?

Do two male Klingons just read poetry at each other? Do two women just fight?

Artwork Credit: ijur on Deviant Art

User ernmark is here to ask the real questions:

I’m not sure if this is the stuff of a fascinating exploration of s^x and gender roles or fodder for a mad-cap Klingon romcom but either way I’m on board.

New Trek properties in the form of movies and TV are getting released all the time, so maybe somebody should tackle this. The closest thing that already exists is The Orville – which is basically Seth MacFarland doing off-brand Star Trek for fun. That series features a clearly Klingon-inspired race called the Moclans. But the twist? They’re an all-male race. All the relationships are gay.

Maybe you’ve been ahead the curve this whole time, MacFarland.

Would you watch a show about this?

Tell us in the comments.