We read a lot these days about men and how they’re raised to treat women, how misogyny is running rampant and how toxic masculinity is harming us all. But the sad truth of the matter is that misogyny is so engrained in our culture that, ladies… we’re full of it, too.
It’s impossible to grow up in our society and to not internalize certain aspects of gender roles and expectations of different genders. And even if you can avoid that, you’re bound to see other people in your life judge strangers – or express snide jealousy of strangers.
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Here’s an argument, though, for helping the women you see while you’re out and about instead of cutting them down in some vain attempt to improve your own situation.
I mean, an argument besides the simplest one – that it never, ever works.
You can honestly do this by working on extracting the “poison” society has dumped into you since you were a girl.
Stop giving toxic people – romantic partners, “friends,” even family – space in your life.
You don’t owe it to them. And no, they’re really never going to change.
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Stop caring what other people think – the day I did this was the best day of my life, and I’ve never looked back.
Don’t judge yourself by other people’s successes; your path isn’t theirs.
You don’t have to fit in – this isn’t high school, thank goodness. You can find your tribe without pretending to be just like everyone else.
Tell your partner what you want in bed. It’s literally the only way you’re going to get it.
Fashion and status aren’t going to get you anywhere except broke, and no one wants that. And if you’re still worried about what your Aunt Mildred would think is “ladylike,” forget it.
Long story short: You do you.
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If you’re single, please enjoy being able to make decisions for yourself, never having to share the bathroom or the bed, and doing what you want to do when you want it. Once you’re married and have kids (or one or the other), you will never have that kind of freedom again.
And, most importantly, if you see another woman living her best life and not giving a cr*p, make sure you give her a tip of the hat and not a disapproving smile.
And you know, if her crown has slipped, take a moment to straighten it, give her a nod of solidarity, and move on without expecting a parade in your honor.
It will make all of our lives more awesome in the long run.