The joys of parenting. Like the feeling of holding your baby for the first time, or celebrating their first birthday. And of course the unconditional love you will always have for that child.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First comes the name. Sooooooo important. Get the name wrong and your child could be facing a lifetime of bullying. For example, Waldo. I mean, kids will be pointing at him screaming, “I Found You” and every birthday they’ll receive a box of white and red striped shirts with matching hats. Ugh.

But get the name right and the stars will align for the little one into adulthood in which they will change mankind for the better….Okay, you get my drift.

That question: “Did you choose the right name?” is on the top of this woman’s mind. She chose the FIRST name of her unborn child to be Squire Sebastian Senator. That’s right. This is the FIRST name only. And her family and friends did not take the news well. So much so, she took to Facebook and canceled the baby shower.

Let’s run down the highlights, shall we?

“His name is Squire Sebastian Senator. That is that. You cannot force me to change his name. This is that name I was meant to give him. No, that is not his full name.”

This is true. It’s her kid. Her business.

“‘Squire Sebastian Senator’ is only his first name. This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.”

Sorry to his future friends, but there will be no Squi.

“We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators too. This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success.”

Ok, lady. I feel ya now. There are history and meaning to the name.

“My baby’s name WILL be a revolution. It will push people to question everything. Why name your baby boring and over-used names like Joshua, Brian, Sam, Nick, Mark, Bella, Marina, etc… when you can name it something special.”

Pump the brakes, Bella is pretty damn special. Just ask Edward.

In the end, it’s none of my business what she names her child. I wish her the best and hope he is loved, cared for, and completely prepared to fill out lengthy bubble exams in school.