Content warning right off the bat here, we’re gonna be talking about sexually explicit content, clearly abusive behavior, and some downright creepiness.

A clearly distraught anonymous user who has since deleted her account took to the subreddit r/AmItheA**hole to seek guidance on what she should do about a situation with her boyfriend. Here’s how she tells it:

So this happened literally a few days back but I’m still shaken.

My boyfriend of 3 years had a secret porn account I did not know about where he had been posting explicit pictures of me to subreddits with out my knowledge, even trading other women’s pictures for mine and etc.

I found this out while browsing through Reddit’s nsfw platforms and saw my pictures being posted online, these were pictures I had only ever sent to him and him alone so I was horrified. That night I took his phone while he slept and went through it and discovered his secret reddit account where he had been messaging people and posting my pictures online.

I went through his entire phone, from his pictures to his texts to see exactly how far he had taken this, not only had he traded my pictures but he’s been lying to me about a multitude of things. His ex had been hitting on him and while he didn’t make any advances he simply just didn’t tell me, he had a kik account he used to trade pictures of me for other women’s pictures and send pictures of himself to “compete” for other women’s pictures. He also has been smoking and drinking behind my back (he’s been trying to quit because it’s affecting his health but I guess that was a lie) and just so many things I thought I could trust him on.

That next morning I told him I knew everything and asked him why he would do what he did, he said he was sorry for posting the pictures but that I extremely violated his privacy by going through his phone and that I should’ve just confronted him with out doing that. I don’t know how to feel as I’ve been crying non stop over the fact that my pictures have been posted out for the world to see and my family and coworkers could know it’s me. My boyfriend is insisting I also breached his trust by going through his phone and am equally at fault for breach of trust.


Much to the relief of anyone who wants to hold up hope for humanity, there was no equivocating in the comments. Everyone agreed – you’re right, here’s awful, GET. OUT.

Many rightly pointed out that in most places, this is highly illegal.

This is beyond the pot calling the kettle black.

It’s hard to know how deep this even goes.

Sure, normally phone snooping is bad, but these are not normal circumstances.

Unfortunately, OP was apparently dependent on him, suggesting a deeply imbalanced situation…

Everyone was rooting for her to get out.

Others had been in the same boat.

Make no mistake, this is definitely illegal.

He’s got no right to talk.

While money is probably not the goal here, she deserves SOME kind of justice.

 The term “gaslighting” came up a lot.

All you can do in these situations is try to be safe.

His own behavior invited this revelation.

Trust can’t be broken if it doesn’t exist.

Bottom line…

In edits to her original post, OP let everyone know that she slipped away from her boyfriend’s place and went to stay with her mom. After telling her mother what happened, she came to her daughter’s defense immediately and is now helping her pursue legal options. That was the last update before OP decided to leave the thread behind. It’s about as hopeful a resolution as one could wish for.

If anyone posts nude photos of you to the internet without your consent, or threatens to share them as a form of blackmail or coercion, that’s hella illegal. Never put up with it, never let anyone tell you you’re in the wrong for it. That person doesn’t deserve you, or your respect.

Have you ever experienced something like this?

Feel free to share in the comments.