Every once in a while you’ll come across someone who has their absolute dream job. You know that old saying, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life?” Most of us never fulfill that prophesy to its fullest. But occasionally, someone will. And when you meet that someone, you kind of want to punch them, because it’s really not fair.
For most of us, we’re working or have worked jobs that we frequently just want to break away from – and a moment the boss isn’t around often affords us the opportunity to do so. Here are 10 real confessions people submitted anonymously about what they get up to when the watchful eyes of management are absent.
21. No guilt
I mean, you probably shouldn’t.
20. Take flight!
But do you have Olympic events a la Brooklyn 99?
19. Pro bono
When the boss is away, the folks won’t pay.
18. You shoes you lose
Weird flex, but OK.
17. Binge working
Ironically, they’re probably watching The Office.
Car naps aren’t the best naps but they’re still naps.
15. Shop lifting
What he doesn’t know probably won’t hurt him.
14. Gimme a break
When BREAK is LIFE.
13. Mild congestion
Commutes are the worst.
12. Explicitly wrong
I really hope you work from home, otherwise this is creepy AF.
11. Sweet revenge
How many can you take before they notice?
10. Mild resistance
Fight the power (slightly)!
9. Game on
Are we talking like solitaire or Call of Duty here?
8. Catch rays, not flack
I’m sure your coworkers appreciate it?
7. On the down low
The irony of working a job you don’t like is that you often are too busy to find another one.
6. Blast it
You gotta fight for your right to party.
If the goal is to be lazy, I’ll bet you’ll hit it quick.
4. Light it up
Somebody’s about to make some real weird spreadsheets.
3. Incognito mode
2. Let it stream
Now this is what I call binge working.
1. Cat napper
And this, we can only assume, is what pets do when we’re not looking.
Such tawdry tales of workplace slacking might stand to teach us something, but I’m not sure what. It strikes me that if so many people are spending less time working than they’re supposed to, and management doesn’t notice the difference, then maybe many of us are just expected to be at work more often than is actually necessary?
What do you do when the boss is away?
Tell us the secrets in the comments.