If tweets were eats, we’d have a bountiful buffet here. I guess we sort of do. A buffet for the mind.
But without vegetables or whatever, just the tasty yummy options that make your brain light up with the happy chemicals for a minute.
Sound good? Got an appetite going? Great, let’s get to it.
Grab a plate and mind the sneeze guard, it’s time to dig into some tweets.
10. Lowering the bar
These are the fictional times we all need to get back to.
I miss bars. I miss ordering a nice drink and having multiple people ask me if I’m a model. Then more people ask me if I’m a model. Everyone at the bar would start yelling “are you a model?!”until I’d have to stand on the bar and make a formal announcement that I am NOT a model
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) July 21, 2020
9. Deep in thought
I think, therefore I am confused.
me (reading philosophy): what
— quaranbean (@christapeterso) July 20, 2020
8. Days gone by
Remember when it was kind of scary and kind of exciting like we were all going camping? Now we’re just stuck in the woods and mad.
I blush when I think about all of us back in March. The crafts! The bread! Tiger King! Sending each other cutie pie Marco Polos! It’s like thinking about yourself in seventh grade
— Alison Bennett (@bennettleigh) July 22, 2020
7. Need to know
Surely ONE of ya’ll wants to get with this.
pitch: a dating app that lets me know which people in my life are already in love with me
— ziwe (@ziwe) July 18, 2020
6. Hard truths
If we all really pull, we can shoot right through.
Thanks for your support, porn shop pic.twitter.com/mFE8gT548T
— Bimborpheus #BLM (@Bimborpheus) September 1, 2020
5. Breaking bad
Hey how did I get in this tweet.
I’m going to take a break from social media for my mental health. I will see you all in 2 minutes.
— erin whitehead (@girlwithatail) July 18, 2020
4. The bag lady
They say the machines are coming to replace us but it seems like the tech is still pretty far off…
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a self-checkout, screaming that there's no unexpected item in the bagging area.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 20, 2020
3. Write what you know
And now I’m writing about a writer writing about writers writing writers.
writers be like “this character will be…a writer”
— Daisy Bard (@DaisyBard) July 19, 2020
2. A sneaking feeling
Oh that reminds me, I should probably buy something overpriced that I won’t use.
I’m stressed out and I’m going to [spins wheel of inappropriate stress responses] buy some sneakers about it
— Amanda Mull (@amandamull) July 24, 2020
1. The good ol’ days
Did anybody ever actually have this happen or was it just a myth?
Gen Z will never understand what it was like growing up in a society where if your pizza was late you got it for free.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) July 23, 2020
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m stuffed. Another delicious tweet meal. I think I need a nap.
Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?
Tell us in the comments!