Whether you’re having a good day or a bad one, it can always be made better by Twitter. Well…scratch that. It can always be made better by the funny parts of Twitter. If you feel fearful right now of trying to wade through the rest of it to find those gems, worry not, because we’ve got a list right here.
Enjoy these 10 random funny tweets without having to deal with the unfunny ones.
10. Wasting away in Margaritaville
Self-care is important.
When I say I went to therapy I mean I drank a margarita in the bathtub
— KᗩTE ᑫᑌIGᒪEY (@KateQFunny) April 13, 2020
9. The lap of luxury
How is this cat not more concerned about where the other half of this human is?
can’t stop thinking about this couple who had to make a F*ke lap for their clingy cat so they could get work done pic.twitter.com/oqMDcs19st
— antonella (@antogold) March 20, 2020
8. Hungry man
Every additional joke I can think of is literally too gross to write down.
I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I'm just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you're desperate.
— ?.?. ???????✍? (@S_M_Phoenix) March 12, 2020
7. We got a 23-19
Mirror mirror on the wall, you’re a liar, that is all.
My face in the My face in
mirror pictures https://t.co/cg6XCPeBzH— S〽️ (@imjustshzain) April 2, 2020
6. Parenting 101
Nobody warns you about these temptations.
3 year old:
me: say f*ck— Devon Daigle (@devondaigle9) May 17, 2019
5. School was weird
I have a note from my doctor excusing me from having to think, though.
Remember 4th grade P.E. when you ran a 5 minute mile in street clothes and then went directly to math?
— Joe Zimmerman (@joezimmerman) April 14, 2020
4. Spicy memes
Get out.
I recently switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack….
She hasn’t realised yet, but the thyme is cumin.
— Dad Jokes (@Dadsaysjokes) April 6, 2020
3. The family plot
Forgotten but not gone.
My mom has killed off half our family to take extended paid vacations. I’m not allowed to come to her job anymore because I’m supposed to be dead
— Maybe: Mariah Carey (@th0ttery) February 19, 2019
2. You can count on this car
These Batmobile redesigns are getting weird.
isn’t this the thing you slide over your calculator? pic.twitter.com/890TqvCnRR
— Kakashi? (@PuleProm) September 18, 2019
1. Bad burners
This is the least satisfying photo I’ve ever seen with my human eyes.
Interior Design is my passion pic.twitter.com/gQ0GQTqGZr
— Foucault’s Talib Kweli Thread ? (@GarbageGangHQ) April 23, 2020
If we’ve calculated this right, your day should be at least 10% better for having seen these memes. If this is incorrect, please don’t bother your doctor about it, they have better things to do.
Who’s your favorite person on Twitter at the moment?
Tell us in the comments.