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Remember that old meme that went like:
“Whatchu want?”
“Give me the _______”
“Say no more, fam.”

That format keeps repeating in my head over and over as I look at these bizarre, inspired haircuts that real people chose to put on their actual heads. Every one of them is reminiscent of some animal, so let’s name the cut and take a guess as to what power they give to the wearer. Yanno. For fun!

10. The Rat

Gives you the power to turn parties silent.

9. The Bull

Makes you real angry at the color red.

8. The Dog

Turns you into your own best friend.

7. The Hawk

Allows you to fly away from job interviews.

6. The Horse

Shows the world you definitely cannot be tamed.

5. The Scorpion

Creates a music sting that follows you everywhere.

4. The Stallion

Finally, a horse haircut for men, because we’re worth it too.

3. The Other Dog

Allows you to totally show up that first dog hair lady at social gatherings.

2. The Elephant

Promises to be a style no one will ever forget.

1. The Narwhal

Affords you all the personal space you want on the train.

Honestly, I’m having a good laugh but I’m also not here to judge. My personal style is “null,” so I truly applaud anyone with a little flair. Even if that means putting an entire horse on your head.

What do you think of all these?

Chime in in the comments.