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I wrote a brief poem about just how single I am:

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m so alone,
oh god how did this happen…

It doesn’t rhyme and it’s not very pleasant, but neither is being single all the time, and in that way I think it’s just about the most truthful piece of art I could create. You’re welcome. Now enjoy some other writing samples from the similarly afflicted via Twitter.

10. Long distance relationship

Can you hear me now? GOOD, BECAUSE I’VE GOT SOME THING TO SAY…

9. Fact checking

Don’t forget also showing them every bit or your physical failings.

8. Breaking news and breaking up

My thumb slipped, I swear.

7. Mustache-twirling courtship

Sometimes the old ways are the best.

6. Got you covered

And let me tell you, they’re all over the map.

5. Emergency contact high

Some people are just your go-to’s for certain conversations forever.

4. Laws of attraction

I don’t want to make any waves here…

3. Love languages

I’m fluent in my native tongue but I’m also conversational in trash talk.

2. The game is afoot

We can’t know, there’s just no way to know.

1. Chemical reactions

Technically, this booze is a solution.

Maybe I should try my hand at writing a love poem to woo somebody with. *ahem*

Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?
Because you’re uncomfortably hot and I find that intimidating,
So I might just stay inside

Hmm. Probably needs a little bit of work.

On a scale of one to tears, how single are you?

Tell us in the comments.


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