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Families are crazy. It’s just a fact of life. Some family members, though, are a bit more out there than others, which is clear from some of these truly wild family stories!

Below are 10 of the craziest threats people have received from family members. They might just make you grateful for yours.

10. Threatening to disown a family member is so not OK.

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9. This brother threatened to out his bisexual sibling.

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8. Not the horse, mom!

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7. Chill out, Grandma.

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6. Imagine this police report.

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5. Choosing the pit bull.

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4. You have no jurisdiction here.

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3. This is a new spin on disowning someone!

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2. But why tho?!?!

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1. This is terrifying.

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Do… Do any of these people need help?