The English language is a truly strange beast. On the one hand, it’s the most commonly spoken language in the entire world (though Mandarin Chinese is hot on its heels.) On the other hand, it is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to learn. If you grew up immersed in it, no problem! Your developing brain pretty much does all the work for you language-wise. But if you’re already an adult? Good. Luck. There are so many weird spelling conventions and grammatical irregularities not to mention countless dialects and pervasive slang and, look, the long and short of it is that if you’ve managed to become fluent in English as a non-native-speaking adult, I salute you.

This certainly hasn’t escaped the notice of the people of Tumblr, a large contingency of whom are writers/literature fans who recognize just how insane this language truly is.

9. If only

I’ll bet you $100 you can’t scroll past without trying it.

8. You’re tearing me apart

We need to just start over from scratch.

7. Cold reading

Try saying this out loud and getting it right the first time.

6. My bologna has a first name

I’m convinced that letters are just meaningless at this point.

5. Please stop

It’s like English has a built-in stutter.

4. The absolute had man

Cool, now I have a headache.

3. Cutted out

English verbs are absolute anarchists.

2. Shitposting

I don’t know what to think of the language OR of myself anymore.

1. Defenestration

Isn’t the bottom sentence just some sort of Game of Thrones plot summary?

OK, that’s enough insane English for now. I’m so mixed up I hardly even know how to type these last few words. I hope I can remember how to grammar correct goodly for sentence doing hippopotamus.

What is you think to be the baddest weird word-having?

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